Santa Sees All

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Thread: Santa Sees All

  1. #1

    Santa Sees All

    Grab the ladder, scale the house,
    shoo away a passing grouse.
    Palm a tangled string, hold it tight
    gonna light up the block tonight.

    Six staples down, missed my hand,
    that course at Sears sure was grand.
    No punctured fingers, not this year,
    no bandaged hand to hold my beer.

    Twelve strings up, just one to go,
    a mighty wind begins to blow.
    Lose my footing, grab the tar,
    make a vow to hit the bar.

    Scramble up, complete my task
    to celebrate, nip at my flask.
    Hands are freezing, body's numb
    well worth it to strike Santa dumb.

    He'll be enthralled and so pleased,
    his love of glitter well appeased.
    He'll bury me tree in extra gifts,
    unlike last year, I won't get stiffed.

    Slide down the ladder, hit the ground,
    my ankle makes a crunching sound.
    Hop to the outlet, insert the plug
    sunset hides my disheartened mug.

    Nary a shiny bulb aglow,
    stiff Con Ed and juice won't flow.
    Booze before bills just doesn't work,
    now it's Christmas Eve, and I'm the jerk.

    Their office is closed and I can't pay,
    my house is dark and will stay that way.
    St. Nick will pass unaware I'm here,
    with barren tree and case of beer.

    Another Christmas spent alone
    'til an AA sponsor rings my phone,
    "Kris Kringle told me I should call."

    Guess I wasn't forgotten after all.

  2. #2
    Oh, I needed that laugh, sweetie! Thanks!
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you’ll be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  3. #3
    Lisa--I am thrilled to see your dark wit blooming again...peace...Jul

  4. #4
    Thanks so much, my lovelies. I really hope this one isn't coming across as dark. It's supposed to be happy, dare I say, hopeful? The thought of Santa giving you what you need as opposed to what you desire appeals to me greatly. As does the thought that even those on the bad list aren't forgotten. I'm hoping that even when I slip off the shroud, its microscopic fibers don't still cling. Oops, rambling again, I'll shut up now.


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