Have you any puns or funny comments worth sharing? - Page 53


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Thread: Have you any puns or funny comments worth sharing?

  1. #521
    Everyone was sent home from the leper prom because there was a face off in the corner.
    "Ammonia will disinfect sin."
    --adrianhayter

    "Art is life, just add bull****."
    --Chris Miller

  2. #522
    What's the most famous English dinosaur?


    Tea-Rex
    "Ammonia will disinfect sin."
    --adrianhayter

    "Art is life, just add bull****."
    --Chris Miller

  3. #523
    Music Guru Trollheart's Avatar
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    Two pukes were walking when they came to a particular street, and one started getting emotional. The other one turned to him and asked what was wrong. "Oh nothing," said the first puke. "It's just, this is where I was brought up."
    Come away, human child to the waters and the wild
    With a faery hand in hand.
    For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand. - WB Yeats "The Stolen Child"

    I drink to forget, but I never forget to drink.

    "If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
    He'd be gunned down cold by the CIA" - The The, "Armageddon Days Are Here (Again)" - Mind Bomb, 1989

    Quoted by Ralph Rotten
    The most destructive force on the planet is not nukes or global warming...it is the human ego.

  4. #524
    Music Guru Trollheart's Avatar
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    "Never put off until tomorrow what you can make a mess of today."

    "Money doesn't buy happiness, but with it you sure can be miserable in comfort."

    "Misery may like company, but it never buys a round of drinks."

    "If a tree falls in the forest, it's best not to be under it."

    "Wouldn't you give your left arm to be ambidextrous?"

    "He who laughs last clearly did not get the joke."

    "Underneath every mean, tough exterior is a mean, tough interior."

    "The bigger they are, the faster you should probably run."
    Come away, human child to the waters and the wild
    With a faery hand in hand.
    For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand. - WB Yeats "The Stolen Child"

    I drink to forget, but I never forget to drink.

    "If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
    He'd be gunned down cold by the CIA" - The The, "Armageddon Days Are Here (Again)" - Mind Bomb, 1989

    Quoted by Ralph Rotten
    The most destructive force on the planet is not nukes or global warming...it is the human ego.

  5. #525
    Three priests are fishing in a rowboat and decide to confess their sins to each other.

    The first says, "Gee, I have a really hard time with greed. That offering plate... it's just so tempting to take some out while I'm counting it."

    "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that; I'll be praying for you," says the second. "I have a hard time with lust. That new sister... whoo, I was walking through the prayer garden, and she forgot to shut the curtains, so I saw her through that window without her habit on. Hot damnation, brothers, a body like that makes me rethink this celibacy thing."

    The first priest consoles the second, and they pray to God for forgiveness and strength to fight these temptations.

    The third priest says, "Well, my sin is gossiping, and brothers, I just can't wait to get back to the church!"
    "Ammonia will disinfect sin."
    --adrianhayter

    "Art is life, just add bull****."
    --Chris Miller

  6. #526
    Money can't buy happiness, but it's a helluva lot easier to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
    Her: I love my computer! All of my friends are in there!
    Me: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about my freezer...
    Her: What?
    Me: What?

  7. #527
    Music Guru Trollheart's Avatar
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    What did one horseman of the apocalypse say to the other horseman of the apocalypse?
    "Cheer up, mate! It's not the end of the world!"
    Come away, human child to the waters and the wild
    With a faery hand in hand.
    For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand. - WB Yeats "The Stolen Child"

    I drink to forget, but I never forget to drink.

    "If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
    He'd be gunned down cold by the CIA" - The The, "Armageddon Days Are Here (Again)" - Mind Bomb, 1989

    Quoted by Ralph Rotten
    The most destructive force on the planet is not nukes or global warming...it is the human ego.

  8. #528
    To the person who stole my anti-depressants: I hope you're happy now!

    My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. It was, sadly, the end of my Korea. I’m still China find another job.

    It turns out when you lose a sock in the laundry, it actually turns into a lid in your kitchen that fits none of your Tupperware.
    Her: I love my computer! All of my friends are in there!
    Me: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about my freezer...
    Her: What?
    Me: What?

  9. #529
    Music Guru Trollheart's Avatar
    Join Date
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    If time and space are relative, why didn't they come to my birthday party?

    To the person who gave us zero: thanks for nothing.
    Come away, human child to the waters and the wild
    With a faery hand in hand.
    For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand. - WB Yeats "The Stolen Child"

    I drink to forget, but I never forget to drink.

    "If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
    He'd be gunned down cold by the CIA" - The The, "Armageddon Days Are Here (Again)" - Mind Bomb, 1989

    Quoted by Ralph Rotten
    The most destructive force on the planet is not nukes or global warming...it is the human ego.

  10. #530
    I'm not a big fan of pun or parody and to pun another artists' work can be infuriating to the target artist so I try not to be leechy through punnery. I like my work to stand on its own but of course you can only take originality so far and some things you write are going to be similar to what was already done. Essentially though I don't try and pun or parody simply because I don't like those methods of "prompting".

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