NY TIMES Article Titles...

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  1. #1

    NY TIMES Article Titles...

    Prelude: The real article is here (same title): http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/31/wo...ripoli.html?hp

    Tripoli Divided as Rebels Jostle to Fill Power Vacuum

    In Tripoli, Libyan rebels have taken hold of Quaddafi’s former stronghold, The Kebab, and have proceeded to divide the large complex into feudal territories, each faction having rule of an equal number of square feet.

    As The Kebab only contains two bathrooms, the rebel factions have been as of yet unappeased as to who officially gets control of these facilities, and have resorted to drawing straws and playing thumb wars, with guns, in the process relinquishing Tripoli the chance for a current stable government.

    Even more quarreled over has been the Power Vacuum, an avant-garde vacuum cleaner designed by I. M. Pei, stolen by Quaddafi’s secret police from the Royal Museum of Cleaning Utensils in Tripoli several years ago.

    When sources questioned Kadek Abbas – the steadfast leader of the Tata Est Puella faction – why everyone was clamoring for the abstractist, formalism-influenced device, he said “It sucks out souls. We might need that.”

    As a form of concession, the leaders have been contemplating donating the Vacuum to sick children in Uganda, as “they probably need it more than we do.”

    An official decision on the toilets and Power Vacuum will be made this Friday.
    Last edited by Alex; August 31st, 2011 at 03:33 PM.

  2. #2
    Member InSickHealth's Avatar
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    That was thoroughly enjoyable. Short and witty. Much in the style of The Onion or Daily Show
    I often find myself to be insanely jealous of my own life. I'm not quite sure what this means, but I know that it's nothing short of awesome!

  3. #3
    Humor is very subjective, and in my subjective opinion this is cute.
    This seems awkward: {as of yet unappeased}
    I have little idea of what this means: {abstractist, formalism-influenced device}


  4. #4
    The Brain of Dyadyushka Denis intends to publish the article in NY Times. For this purpose it has generated translation of the article into English language and has sent this transfer in Op-Ed Page.


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