Uncut, unedited

**NicB.** · August 14th, 2011, 03:31 AM

I hate.
Whom
I have
Become.
Because
I Love
You.

I sip bourbon alone on this perfect summer night.
The kind of night that haunts me in my dreams.
Hope for,
Yearn for…
Something.
That which.
I can no longer remember,
but…
Still feel.
Deep within me
Within the chasm of my life.

The air is
Perfect.
Saturated.
Suffocating.
breathe.
breathe.
Breathe it.
BREATHE IT!
Drown in the lies created by your mind.
Perfect lies, perfect night…

I am the black.
I am the white.
the wisps of gray lost in the in-between.
A fleeting thought,
neither here nor there.
The lazy tendrils of smoke
That tumble from my cigar,
From my lips,
Lost and forgotten in a
moment
from
my breath.
MY BREATH…

You unbalance
the balance
of
My life.
Ripples in the glassy still
An aftershock of your undeniable beauty.

I hear the cicadas,
The thunder of their staccato melody
As it fractures the silence of the night.

I hate.
I love.
I loved.
You.

Betrayed
I feel
It.
You.

I wipe the spit from my face
As I try to collect the fragments of my life,
From the gutter in the road.
Fragments that hold.
That held...
All I am, all whom I hoped to be.
And I am left here.
Alone
To rebuild
My world.
A world I no longer remember how to build.

A single
Tear.
Rolls down.
my cheek.
MY cheek.
Hits.
My lip.
My breathe.
MY BREATHE.
I hate.
I love.
You.

**Nacian** · August 20th, 2011, 01:47 PM

Amasing words..great style.
I hope you're Ok..

**Firemajic** · August 26th, 2011, 02:25 PM

This is a dark--twisted--hellish poem, lots of drama and angst.. maybe a little over done---NOT! Very well done. " I hate who I have become because I love you"---Oh I know exactly what you are saying. Been there--done that--NOT going to do that again. Your talent is in not being afraid to show your naked emotions---the good--the bad and the ugly...I applaud you for that. Peace...Jul

**rundahl** · August 27th, 2011, 07:38 AM

Hi NicB,

I sometimes wish there was a genre called "therapy", or "Been there done that." You are raw, dark, and in pain. I mean your work is.

I am the black.
I am the white.
the wisps of gray lost in the in-between.
A fleeting thought,
neither here nor there.
The lazy tendrils of smoke
That tumble from my cigar,
From my lips,
Lost and forgotten in a
moment
from
my breath.
MY BREATH… (I love this)
It has a dreamy feeling to it. I also bring to mind the surreal experience that can take place when reality is clouded by over consumption.
I also enjoy the way you change font style to convey a new feeling, a new memory, or new experience. It makes it easier for me to switch gears and prepare for your message.
This is great. Thanks.

**Prof** · August 27th, 2011, 10:30 PM

What a great way to say I love you and you don't care. I agree with FireMajic that you are not over the top. I would add that you are close though. If I had to nit pick, and I do have to, it's in my nature, I would say "the chasm of my life" is an awkward image Maybe "the chasm which has become my life"? Still, very good, keep bringing them to us.