The Kitten Who Found It's Happiness


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Thread: The Kitten Who Found It's Happiness

  1. #1
    Member cosmickev's Avatar
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    Post The Kitten Who Found It's Happiness

    For those who are visiting for the first time...welcome .

    For those who are returning, I hope that it meets your expectations.

    Alright, I did my best to take into account every piece of advice that has been given to me. I'm having someone looke over it for me sometime in the future to help with the grammatical areas. If you are good with grammar, I would appreciate your help as well. I'm willing to learn and better myself.

    In any case, whether you are a first time visitor, or one who is returning, I hope that you'll enjoy:

    The Kitten Who Found His Happiness
    Last edited by cosmickev; October 16th, 2011 at 03:44 AM.

  2. #2
    Member Prinkes's Avatar
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    This is adorable. And wonderful. And makes me smile. Beautiful story, just perfect for kids I think.

    In the interest of writing, maybe you should start the story with Taiga sitting there all alone, and Bubbles trying to wheedle the reason he's sad out of him. I'd like to hear Taiga explain what happened in his own words, and it'll make us sympathize with him a little more I think. I think I'd like to hear a little more about the woman who adopts him too, why is she so lonely?

    Like I said, though, I really like this story!
    We'll Carry On.
    Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them, in order that the reader may see what they are made of.- Rule Number 6, Kurt Vonnegut
    "Iím happiest when Iím writing."- John Green

  3. #3
    Member cosmickev's Avatar
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    Thank you for your feedback .

    I really like the idea of starting the story that way and have Taiga tell the story, as well as giving more background on the woman who adopts him. I hadn't thought about that before, and I think adding that information in won't hurt the story at all.

    Again, thank you for your input .

  4. #4
    It reminds me of a love story only instead of a guy there is a cat. This was a sad story at the begining but the end was great and as "prinkes" saied this story is perfect for kids. It would be nice if you described Taiga's friends and new owner and why she is alone.

  5. #5
    This is breathtakingly beautiful... the endurance and patience to find happiness... this was exquisitely done! So many emotions were conjured up as I read it. I disliked the previous owners and felt sorry for the kitten. I jumped with joy when he found happiness.

    Once again, wonderfully done, a true children's story!!


  6. #6
    Member cosmickev's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kulyuly View Post
    It reminds me of a love story only instead of a guy there is a cat. This was a sad story at the begining but the end was great and as "prinkes" saied this story is perfect for kids. It would be nice if you described Taiga's friends and new owner and why she is alone.
    Thank you for your feedback. I will defintely do some work on describing the friends and the owner and explaining why she is lonely.
    "There can be no absolute 'correct' way to write"

  7. #7
    Member cosmickev's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Celestial-Ultimatum View Post
    This is breathtakingly beautiful... the endurance and patience to find happiness... this was exquisitely done! So many emotions were conjured up as I read it. I disliked the previous owners and felt sorry for the kitten. I jumped with joy when he found happiness.

    Once again, wonderfully done, a true children's story!!

    Thank you! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story
    "There can be no absolute 'correct' way to write"

  8. #8
    Member Rustgold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kulyuly View Post
    It would be nice if you described Taiga's friends and new owner and why she is alone.
    Q : If the story is about Taiga's journey, wouldn't that be adding words that doesn't advance the journey? As it currently exists, it's a very personal story; and you risk upsetting that if you start focusing on everybody else.

    Just my thoughts.
    Caution : Doesn't come with 1698-B sanity certificate
    I'd kill for a blueberry scroll, or maim for a apple one. Alas...

  9. #9
    Member cosmickev's Avatar
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    You make a good point, since this is Taiga's journey, explaining about Taiga's friends would just be extra information. But I was under the assumption that it was more of a physical description to give the reader an idea about what his friends looked like since I did neglect to explain what they looked like.
    Last edited by cosmickev; August 28th, 2011 at 01:29 PM.
    "There can be no absolute 'correct' way to write"

  10. #10
    It is such a sweet story! Even though there were a few grammatical errors, it was still a lovely piece of writing. I almost cried when Taiga found out what the woman had scripted on his collar. It was so sad!!! A great story overall, I really enjoyed reading this!

    ~ Sweetblossom

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