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Thread: A rain haiku

  1. #21
    Banned Martin's Avatar
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    As with haikus, I'm of the opinion that they should reach us rather than we should reach for them. Meaning that too much fiddling usually won't make for a good haiku. This one in particular is not very unexpected I agree; it's the simple experience of how rain continues in forests even after it stops from the clouds. It was supposed to be nothing more than that, however mundane it may seem. It was a pleasant experience for me none the less, and thus the lines appeared in my head.

    I appreciate all the attention this one gets, but I don't see it myself as a particurlarly good haiku. My three newer attempts I think are better as traditional haikus even though they don't follow the 5-7-5 structure.

  2. #22
    WF Veteran Squalid Glass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martin View Post
    After rain
    forests still drip
    This. It makes me think of "In a Station of the Metro" by Pound. It feels like so much more than a statement and about so much more than simple rain in a simple forest. I think this is your poem.
    "I don't do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision."

    "America I've given you all and now I'm nothing."

  3. #23
    Banned Martin's Avatar
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    That's a sweet comparison to get, Squalid, that's a very cool Pound piece. And glad to hear you agree with my own conclusion on what should be this poem. Cheers.

  4. #24
    I like 'its just after rain' because it gives ambience to the picture- as the air is fresher in a forest just after rain. Which is why the moment captured is so magical. By cutting out that line you lose the essense of the beauty in the poem. Anyone can refer to rain. But to refer to a moment in time that the rain was making the forest heavy with water shows you thought alot about the poem.
    Note I am new to Haiku, so feel free to disregard my opinion.

  5. #25
    I like the challenge of traditional 5-7-5 haiku. I thought it was rather nice in its orginal form.

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