A rain haiku - Page 2


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Thread: A rain haiku

  1. #11
    English Haiku is as oxymoronic as Canadian Cheddar...
    There is such a thing, at least when I last taught. More of an evolution of perception, rather than any distinct form, but it exists nonetheless.

    If the kids these days want to call their poems haiku, why not?

  2. #12
    "After rain
    leaves are heavy from water;
    forests still drip."

    yeah, i like this version best. but i have to agree, the last line seems to repeat the second, perhaps if you focus on the sensation of dripping, or wetness, etc. still, i do like this.

    wood

  3. #13
    Banned Martin's Avatar
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    Personally I don't think I manage to include the kireji in this. It's really just an image, and I think it should rather just read:

    After rain
    forests still drip


    Thanks for commenting everyone.

  4. #14
    Member Trides's Avatar
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    I like three lines better than two...

    After rain
    leaves are heavy
    forests still drip
    High school = much work = procrastination = mother shouting = shouting back at mother

  5. #15
    Banned Martin's Avatar
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    Nice one Trides, I agree...

  6. #16
    Member torbird's Avatar
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    What about 'Still forests drip'? It's still (!) a repetition of the idea but with a possible extra double-meaning...

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by LugubriousLenny View Post
    There is such a thing, at least when I last taught. More of an evolution of perception, rather than any distinct form, but it exists nonetheless.

    If the kids these days want to call their poems haiku, why not?
    In that case I have a Chippendale dining room set which I bought from Argos.


    After rain
    leaves are heavy
    forests still drip


    It is rather a statement of the obvious isn't it, it's been raining so water drips. I feel it needs an unexpected turn.

  8. #18
    Member Trides's Avatar
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    Chill, bloggs. It's a three-line poem. Can't have a lot of unexpected turns there.
    High school = much work = procrastination = mother shouting = shouting back at mother

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Trides View Post
    Chill, bloggs. It's a three-line poem. Can't have a lot of unexpected turns there.
    It only needs one...

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Trides View Post
    Chill, bloggs. It's a three-line poem. Can't have a lot of unexpected turns there.

    It only needs one...

    For instance (this is not a suggestion)

    After rain
    leaves are heavy
    but squirrels stay dry
    Last edited by Bloggsworth; July 8th, 2011 at 02:05 PM.

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