her satin lips on which I rest - Page 4


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Thread: her satin lips on which I rest

  1. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by rainhands View Post
    Hey J,

    It may just be the way I read those last few posts then. In any case, there's no need to apologise. I'm glad you appreciate all sorts of feedback - I'll know it's okay to return to more of your work that way. I do think, though, that we should all strive to have our work carry it's own weight, whether our reader knows us personally or not. I really do wish you all the best with your writing,

    -R
    I wish you the same. And, truly, I would rather you call me on it if you think I'm being rude that to risk something I've said offending anyone (even unintentionally.) I'm glad you shared your thoughts on that as well as the poem.
    J. Patrick Lemarr
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    Author of I Am A Broken House
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  2. #32
    --rainhands: I didn't think his response was even as rude as my post, which was hardly rude itself. If anything, I think people are trying too hard to be polite/ self-deprecating (see post above) around here. Everything else I agree with.

    The 'people your senior are offering less critique' annoyed me a bit, but honestly it sums up the attitude on these forums pretty well. Just a bunch of people telling each other their poems 'feel' really good.

  3. #33
    darkonone, I didn't mean rude in terms of how anything was said - it was really all rather civil - I simply meant in terms of what was actually being implied - that a critique is not valuable. And that it's a reviewer who is getting it wrong rather than the poem not communicating. As though it's somehow their fault for 'not getting it.'

    I completely agree with you that a pat-on-the-back attitude doesn't really do anyone's writing any good.

  4. #34
    Member JBlanton's Avatar
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    Interesting discussion here, and for some reason I'm compelled to briefly comment.

    For me, much of the joy and profit in a review is found not so much in the technical critique (though that's helpful as well), but in the explanation of how it came across to the various readers. As such, I don't necessarily look for skilled poetic capability behind those morsels of feedback, but an honest expression of how it affected them (if it even did), and how they felt or how they interpreted the piece. As mentioned, observations that indicate something didn't come across clearly points me to an opportunity for refining the piece in some way, unless a little uncertainty is desired.

    As to pats on the back, sometimes a little encouragement is nice. So far, in my brief experience here, there's a good variety of types of feedback, from pats on the back to technical, to philosophical, to bluntly challenging, to heartfelt, etc.... It seems to me that there's value to be found in them all.
    Last edited by JBlanton; January 14th, 2011 at 04:42 AM.

  5. #35
    Your meter, as always, is flawless. For what it's worth, I had no problem with carved, like Cindy, I envisioned a sculptor, or rather The Sculptor. My only nit would be the repetition of in as the end rhyme in the final stanza, otherwise, I enjoyed this very much, Jeff. Hope no one turns up the flame beneath that pot.

  6. #36
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    it reads like a Shakespearian sonnet, love it!

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