The first chapter of my novel (Nearly 5,00 words) - Page 3

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Thread: The first chapter of my novel (Nearly 5,00 words)

  1. #21
    I had no desire to read past the first paragraph. I wondered, "What's the point?" And a hypothetical watcher is not a character, and neither is the landscape that you painfully, and tediously describe.

    I think the prose fails on a very basic level. There is no sentence variation in the first paragraph. I really wish there was. It makes reading more pleasurable. You may have heard the technique described as "allowing the reader to catch his breath." There is truth to that.
    Last edited by Jon M; March 1st, 2011 at 03:45 AM.
    "The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all. It was a saying about noble figures in old Irish poems—he would give his hawk to any man that asked for it, yet he loved his hawk better than men nowadays love their bride of tomorrow. He would mourn a dog with more grief than men nowadays mourn their fathers.

    And that's how we measure out our real respect for people—by the degree of feeling they can register, the voltage of life they can carry and tolerate—and enjoy.

    Live like a mighty river: a letter from Ted Hughes to his son, Nicholas

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  2. #22
    ^ Well, I can't please everyone!

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