Obsessed with a comma, need help - Page 2


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Thread: Obsessed with a comma, need help

  1. #11
    It looks superfluous. I'd yank the first part altogether.

    The weather seemed to be playing games with Vincent, raining when he didn't have his umbrella, and clearing up when he did.

    He expected rain and had his umbrella when he didn't need it, and it rained when he did. If you're trying to preserve the playfulness of the weather, how about this?

    The playful rain stayed away whenever Vincent remembered his umbrella.

    or hid away
    Last edited by mgencleyn; October 28th, 2010 at 07:19 PM.
    We are the Internets. You will be pwned. Resistance is LOL.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by mgencleyn View Post
    He expected rain and had his umbrella when he didn't need it, and it rained when he did. If you're trying to preserve the playfulness of the weather, how about this?
    I had to laugh when I read your post, mgencleyn, because I think it cut closer to the heart of the matter than I was prepared for. The truth is, I was envisioning the weather being spiteful rather than playful, but after reading your post I can see that technically proper syntax is the least of my worries in this case. I simply didn't do a good job conveying the essence of my thoughts.

    I suppose I could argue that the next few sentences would have cleared that up, but I'd be lying.

    Thanks for the feedback!
    "Wanna see something really scary?"

  3. #13
    Well, I'm glad that's cleared up now. I'd hate to think that damned rain might have fooled everyone here!
    We are the Internets. You will be pwned. Resistance is LOL.

  4. #14
    I like commas.
    Twitter - @RMAmericano


  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by RM Americano View Post
    I like commas.
    Commas are fine, but I think semicolons are where its at. Unfortunately, semicolons scare me, or rather, the rules around them do, so I don't use them much, even though I'd like to, and its more often than you'd think, I'd wager.

    Oops that was my last comma.
    "Wanna see something really scary?"

  6. #16
    Noo.....All about the M dash.
    Twitter - @RMAmericano


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