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  1. #1

    one

    [under construction]
    Last edited by Jon M; August 28th, 2010 at 10:44 PM.

  2. #2
    [under construction]
    Last edited by Jon M; August 28th, 2010 at 10:44 PM.
    "The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all. It was a saying about noble figures in old Irish poems—he would give his hawk to any man that asked for it, yet he loved his hawk better than men nowadays love their bride of tomorrow. He would mourn a dog with more grief than men nowadays mourn their fathers.

    And that's how we measure out our real respect for people—by the degree of feeling they can register, the voltage of life they can carry and tolerate—and enjoy.
    "

    Live like a mighty river: a letter from Ted Hughes to his son, Nicholas

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  3. #3
    Member DarkxxArts's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    I'm not familiar with the critique of scripts, but I must say, the dialogue alone has quite a build up. I felt an eerie aspect in the Man's lofty appreciation of "it". I, however, have only one complaint, it ended. Please write more.
    "And now, you know... As do I."
    ~Dark Arts

  4. #4
    Glad you enjoyed the dialogue. I was hoping to convey some of THE MAN'S personality in his speech -- eerie, like you said, desperate, and perhaps a little delusional.

    More to come.
    "The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all. It was a saying about noble figures in old Irish poems—he would give his hawk to any man that asked for it, yet he loved his hawk better than men nowadays love their bride of tomorrow. He would mourn a dog with more grief than men nowadays mourn their fathers.

    And that's how we measure out our real respect for people—by the degree of feeling they can register, the voltage of life they can carry and tolerate—and enjoy.
    "

    Live like a mighty river: a letter from Ted Hughes to his son, Nicholas

    Hidden Content


  5. #5
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    Intriguing work, FS. From a few dialogues, the Man's character is gradually ushered in. The suspense in the whole writing has been laid down so naturally. But I really wonder who this man is?

  6. #6
    [editing]
    Last edited by Jon M; August 29th, 2010 at 07:26 AM.
    "The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all. It was a saying about noble figures in old Irish poems—he would give his hawk to any man that asked for it, yet he loved his hawk better than men nowadays love their bride of tomorrow. He would mourn a dog with more grief than men nowadays mourn their fathers.

    And that's how we measure out our real respect for people—by the degree of feeling they can register, the voltage of life they can carry and tolerate—and enjoy.
    "

    Live like a mighty river: a letter from Ted Hughes to his son, Nicholas

    Hidden Content


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