Heaven Knows

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Thread: Heaven Knows

  1. #1
    Member Sonofjoe's Avatar
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    Heaven Knows

    Heaven Knows (for want of a better title)
    This is the first play I’ve written for radio (in fact my one and only play) and I wanted to play with the idea that our lives are mapped out for us by divine intervention until that is, you get someone who is totally incompetent at their job. I wanted to use a character everyone could identify with but struggled for a long time until Jade Goody died. For those of you that don’t know her, I don’t think it would be out of place to call her the archetypal dumb blond. Although it is complete, I am not totally happy with the final scene; it is only there for the time constraint.

    Any feedback would be more than welcome.

    Click > here < for the .pdf document. If you don’t have Adobe Reader, I am willing to upload in word format just let me know.

    Edit 16 Aug: After taking advice I have posted the play below.
    Last edited by Sonofjoe; August 16th, 2010 at 10:43 AM.
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  2. #2
    You will get a far better response if you post the actual thing here, many people are wary of clicking on an unknown site, others simply won't bother.
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  3. #3
    I've just read through the first couple of pages. I'll read the rest later. Olly is right about posting the play in the thread. It will get more responses and be easier to make comments.

    As for the part I've read, the characterization is quite good. If the rest is as well defined, it will play very well on radio.
    "PS: don't take technical advice about cold fusion from someone who can't spell fuzhun."

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    Honoured/Sadly Missed The Backward OX's Avatar
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    They're both right. Post it here.

  5. #5
    Member Sonofjoe's Avatar
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    Advice taken and understood the reasons why. Took a while to format though

    HEAVEN KNOWS


    SCENE 1 ARRIVAL:
    INT: ECHOEY MARBLE HALLWAY LEADING TO THE PEARLY GATES IN HEAVEN
    GRAMS ESTABLISHING AND BACKGROUND MUSIC; BARBER AGNUS DEI; CHORAL: UNDER THROUGHOUT SCENE 1.
    FX: ECHOING SHUFFLING LIGHT FOOTSTEPS OF AN OLD WOMAN GETTING CLOSER.


    ST PETER: Hello and welcome to Heaven. Name please.

    ETHEL: (PUZZLED) This doesnít look like the post office.

    ST PETER: No, it doesnít, does it. Can I take your name please?

    ETHEL: My name? (SLIGHTLY ANNOYED) Why do you want my name?

    ST PETER: I need your name for our records dear; everyone has to give me their name.

    ETHEL: But I only want to buy some stamps and a birthday card for our Susan.

    ST PETER: This isnít the post office dear; you are at the gates of Heaven.

    ETHEL: (SUPPRISED)I am!

    ST PETER: Yes dear.

    ETHEL: Oh... Oh dear me... Iím not at the post office then?

    ST PETER: No dear, youíre not at the post office. Youíre in Heaven.

    ETHEL: Heaven, oh my goodness! So, does that mean Iím dead then?

    ST PETER: Yes am afraid so. If you would just give me your name it will help things along.

    ETHEL: Oh dear, Heaven you say. Oh my, well yes. (PAUSE) Well fancy that! (PAUSE) Oh! My name, yes, Mrs Ethel Weston.


    FX: (UNDER) TAPPING OF KEYS ON A COMPUTER KEYBOARD


    ST PETER: W-E-S-T-O-N. Ah here we are Ethel Weston aged sixty-four. Died, ten-fifteen at Kingston General. Does that sound right?

    ETHEL: Oh well I donít know I was going to the post office. I was getting some stamps and a birthday card for our Susan.

    ST PETER: Well it would appear that you had a heart attack Ethel and died not long after.

    ETHEL: (BEAT) Oh dear oh my.

    ST PETER: (BEAT) Marvellous thing these computers. Speed things up no end I can tell you. You wouldnít believe the size and amount of paperwork I had to go through to get just a small fragment of information from someoneís entire existence. And! Trying to read some of the writing on the pages you wouldnít comprehend (PAUSE) Ah. Sorry Ethel, Iím afraid I'm rambling again, itís just that I find this computer so helpful in my work. Okiedokie. Letís just see what your appointed destiny is shall we.

    ETHEL: I have an appointed destiny?

    ST PETER:But of course Ethel. Everyone has an appointed destiny. Let me see now.


    FX: (UNDER) TAPPING OF KEYS ON A COMPUTER KEYBOARD


    ST PETER: Oh this looks good Ethel.


    FX: (UNDER) BACKGROUND FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING. MANS INAUDIBLE VOICE GRUMBLING AND CURSING


    ST PETER: youíve been chosen to be a Guardian Angel. Well done.

    ETHEL: Oooh! So Angels do really exist then.

    IAN THOMAS: (OFF UNDER) What the bloody hells going on here, where the devil am I!

    ST PETER: Oh yes Ethel but of course they do. I see that you are going to be a Guardian Angel for Michelle, you great grandchild.

    ETHEL: My great grandchild Michael! I donít have a great grandchild called Michelle.

    IAN THOMAS: (ANNOYED) Excuse me, can someone tell me where the hell I am!

    ST PETER: One moment sir, Iíll be with you shortly. (BEAT) Ah well Ethel your granddaughter Susan is 2 months pregnant with your great granddaughter Michelle and youíve been chosen to be her Guardian Angel. Congratulations Ethel! Donít look so worried everything is going to be fine.

    ETHEL: 2 months pregnant! Sheís never mentioned it to me that sheís pregnant! Oh my and Iím going to be her Guardian Angel Oh dearie dearie me I donít know if I can do that. I donít know how to be a Guardian Angel?

    ST PETER: Ethel dear,(PAUSE) you have plenty of time overcome your fears and anxieties and we have a great team here to show you how to become a wonderful Guardian Angel.(PAUSE) Donít worry! If you would just like to go through the Pearly Gates and take the first door on your right, someone will take you through your inauguration.


    FX: (UNDER) SHUFFLING FOOTSTEPS FADE OFF


    ST PETER: Hello and welcome to Heaven. Name please.

    IAN THOMAS: (AGITATED) WHAT!

    ST PETER: Name please?

    IAN THOMAS: (AGITATED) What...Who the hell are you? (BEAT)Look where the bloody hell am I?

    ST PETER: Begging your pardon SIR, but we donít use language like that up here. Itís err, not good for our image. I know it may be a bit of a shock to find yourself here sir, but Iím a very busy Saint so if you could just give me your name please and I will be able to process you through on to the next level of your destiny.

    IAN THOMAS: (AGITATED) Destiny! Destiny,what the hell are you going on about? Destiny! What bloody destiny! And where the hell am I?

    ST PETER: Please Sir. I really must INSIST that you restrain your language. There are a lot of people up here who take considerable offence to the usage of that word, so If you wouldnít mind!

    IAN THOMAS: LOOK! Could you just tell me, if-its-not-too-much-trouble where in damn nation am I?

    ST PETER: I already have Sir! Does the phrase hello and welcome to Heavení strike any chords?

    IAN THOMAS: (BEAT) Jesus! I was just crossing the road to buy some... Sorry I thought you said Heaven for a minute there?

    ST PETER: Then you heard me correctly then sir.

    IAN THOMAS: WHAT! WHERE!

    ST PETER: (HEAVY SIGH) H-E-A-V-E-N Heaven, you know? Elysian Fields, Paradise, The Beyond, Kingdome Come. Donít you recognise any of this here? Like the Pearly Gates or maybe the choir of Angels singing you a welcoming hymn in the background. Didnít you ever go to church or read the bible?

    IAN THOMAS: (SHOCKED) HEAVEN!

    ST PETER:Yes.

    IAN THOMAS: (PAUSE) But you have to be dead to go to Heaven!

    ST PETER: Ah the penny drops me thinks. Good. Now can I have your name please?

    IAN THOMAS: Iím sorry I think there must be some kind of mistake here mate. I mean Iím not dead. Look at me! Iím alive and kicking.

    ST PETER: (BEAT) Well Iím afraid you donít look the picture of health to me Sir.

    IAN THOMAS: What do you mean by that?

    ST PETER: Well do you always go around in a hospital gown with a face looking like a margarita pizza, or were you going to a fancy dress party perhaps?

    IAN THOMAS: What the hel..
    ST PETER: (BEAT) Er-urm I wonít tell you again sir. Look, itís quite obvious that when your demise came it came totally unexpectedly and it must be a terrible shock, but as I said Iím a very busy Saint. So if you would be so kind as to give me your name so I can process you on to our.

    IAN THOMAS: (BEAT) What's happened to me?

    ST PETER: Youíve died!

    IAN THOMAS: Oh Iím dead am I, well how did I die then? (BEAT) OH shiiiiugar Iím supposed to be picking her up at twelve, Christ sheís going to kill me if I donít turn up!

    ST PETER: Well, perhaps you where late Sir. (PAUSE) If you would just give me your name I will endeavour to enlighten you on your sad and somewhat unexpected demise.

    IAN THOMAS: NO! no no no this canít be right Iíve died before my time, I must have. Iím not dead and all this is just a figment of my imagination, Iím asleep and this is all a dream, yeah thatís it thatís got to be it.


    FX: (UNDER) FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING


    BREEZE: (OFF: SIGNING: UNDER: GEORGE HARRISONíS MY SWEAT LORD) My sweet lord, hallelujah. Mmm my lord, hallelujah. My my my lord, hallelujah. Mmm my lord, hare krishna

    ST PETER: Yes some might consider all this a figment of oneís imagination. Thatís what they say about the scriptures, the Dead Sea scrolls and the Holy Grail to name but three of the myriad of Holy artefacts and myths. Still, you could be right, maybe youíre not dead and you are in the wrong place? Why donít you turn around and go back down Sir. The stairs are right behind you.

    BREEZE: (SLOW AND HIPPYISH) OH wow man this is it cool. Far out, peace brother

    IAN THOMAS: RIGHT. I will. Iím off. (PAUSE) This place is giving me the creeps

    ST PETER: (CHEERY) Bye. See you soon


    FX: (UNDER) FOOSTEPS HEADING AWAY


    ST PETER: (GROAN) Hello and welcome to Heaven. Name please

    BREEZE: Hey man donít you know me? I thought you knew everyone and everything man

    ST PETER: Not me Sir that would be the boss Iím just the gate keeper. Name please.

    BREEZE: Oh yeah right man. Breeze, man... Like the wind, soft and gentle

    ST PETER: I will need your real name Sir, the one given to you when you were born

    BREEZE: Hey man I was given this name when I was like re-born man; we had a really cool ceremony yíknow, baptism of faith right.

    ST PETER: Thatís as maybe Sir but I still require the name you were given when you were born the first time round.

    BREEZE: Hey maaan like I donít know how many lives Iíve lived yíknow. During my last regression session I was like an herb farmer in Tibet in the sixteen hundreds yíknow. (PAUSE) I suggested that the group called me Thyme. (PAUSE) Like a play on words yíknow but the group said it didnít suit my psyche.

    ST PETER: (EXASPERATED) Please, just give me the name you were given when you were born during this last life!

    BREEZE: Oh wow man. OK keep your cool (PAUSE) Ronald Dickenson.


    FX: (UNDER) TAPPING OF KEYS ON A KEYBORD


    BREEZE: (OFF UNDER SINGING) I really want to see you lord, hallelujah. I really want to feel you lord, hare krishna

    ST PETER: D-I-C-K-E-N-S-O-N(PAUSE) Mmm here we are Ronald Dickenson sixty-two of(HEAVY SIGH) Natures Child Commune Bolton Died ten-forty-five am substance abuse

    BREEZE: Oh man, yeah right, that must have been some bad trip yeah.(PAUSE) Hey man! When do I get to see you know who, Do I get see the holy dude?

    ST PETER: Not everyone gets that privilege Sir Itís not up to me. Like I said earlier Iím just the gate keeper. It all depends on how you fare in the judgement department.

    IAN THOMAS: (DISTANCE OFF SHOUTING) This is ridiculous!

    BREEZE: Judgement department whoa heavy man.

    IAN THOMAS: (OFF GETTING CLOSER) Excuse me?

    ST PETER: Donít look so worried Sir Iím sure everything will be... Cool

    IAN THOMAS: (OFF GETTING CLOSER) Excuse me?

    ST PETER: If you would just go towards the gates and you will see a little door on your left marked (PATRONISING) Limbo of the Patriarchs. Enjoy your afterlife Sir.


    FX: (UNDER) FOOTSTEPS LEADING AWAY


    BREEZE: (OFF SINGING) My Sweet Lord. Ooooo My Lord...

    IAN THOMAS: Excuse me?

    ST PETER: Ah youíve come back what a surprise, having some problems Sir?

    IAN THOMAS: (EXASPERATED) Too damn right I am. I canít seem to be able to go down the stairs!

    ST PETER: (PATRONISING) Oh really sir

    IAN THOMA: Yes! Every time I try to go down I keep getting forced backwards no matter how I try and Iíve tried every which way! Itís as though thereís some, some, some kind of invisible force field forcing, stopping me. What the hellís going on!

    ST PETER: Ah that will be our one-way system sir

    IAN THOMAS: What!

    ST PETER: We have a system up here Sir, you come up via the stairway to Heaven and you stay. Unless that is youíd like to take the lift, which only goes down (PAUSE) in to the basement, well the boiler room as we like to call it to be precise. You are quite welcome to try the lift if you wish Sir. You could keep Breeze company on the way down.

    IAN THOMAS: I donít believe this I just donít believe it. Not one little bit, this is just not my day, Iím dead right. DEAD! Dead and at the Pearly Gates. Oh Jesus Christ...

    ST PETER: (BEAT) Well I did try to tell you this earlier Si...

    IAN THOMAS: (BEAT) (AGITATED) What the hell am I going to tell the misses sheís going to go up the wall AND I never took out that damn endowment oh my god what am I going to do?

    ST PETER: Well Sir letís start by calming down, after all youíll have all eternity to repent ones culpability.

    IAN THOMAS: (MUFFLED AS THOUGH HEAD IN HANDS) Oh my God oh my God!

    ST PETER: I know itís been a bit of a shock to find yourself here Sir, but it happens to you all at some point, believe me you will feel much happier once you have accepted the situation that youíll never be returning to your loved ones down on Earth

    IAN THOMAS: Oh thanks, thatís just what I needed to hear.


    FX: (OFF)STRONG MARCHING FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING


    ST PETER: You welcome. Right! Shall we start from the beginning again? Name please.

    IAN THOMAS: Are you always this helpful or only to the people you like?

    ST PETER: Look Sir the sooner we complete the formalities the sooner you will be able to abandon any thoughts about your life on Earth and start to enjoy your stay here in eternity.


    FX: FOOSTEPS COME TO A HALT IN A MIITARY WAY


    IAN THOMAS: OK! OK! What every you say

    ST PETER: Name.

    IAN THOMAS: Thomas


    FX: (UNDER) TAPPING OF KEYS ON A COMPUTER KEYBOARD


    ST PETER: T-H-O-M-A-S (PAUSE) Ah! Would you give me your Christian names please Sir. We have five Thomasís arriving today

    COLONEL THOMAS: (BRISK HEAVY WELSH ACCENT) SIR. Colonel Ashford Bowen-Thomas Yorkshire Regiment, retired reporting for service Sir.


    FX: STAMP OF ONE FOOT ON THE FLOOR


    IAN THOMAS: Just a minute I was here first

    COLENEL THOMAS: Sorry laddie. Itís just that when I heard old Saint Pete here saying he was expecting five Thomasís and me being a Thomas like I thought Iíd give him the eyes front that I was here like.

    IAN THOMAS: Well Iím a Thomas and I was here before you so wait your turn OK!

    ST PETER: Iím sorry about this Sir. Heís not finding it easy in accepting his predicament, if you would care to take a seat I will be with you in a moment. Christian name pleas Mr Thomas

    IAN THOMAS: Ian

    ST PETER: (SUPRISED) Ah! Oh dear Ian Thomas you say?

    IAN THOMAS: Ian Thomas yes!

    ST PETER: (NERVOUS) Oh err well ah (PAUSE) Mmmm (PAUSE) Iím sure everything is in order.

    IAN THOMAS: EH what! What do you mean youíre sure everything is in order?

    ST PETER: Iím sure itís nothing for you to worry about Mr Thomas; itís probably this infernal computer. (BEAT) Never have liked these confounded things. I knew something like this would happen one day. I told them I was happy with the ledgers, but NO they wouldnít listen; we have to move with the times they said...

    IAN THOMAS: (BEAT) Ok spill the beans whatís it done?

    ST PETER: Done? Well itís done nothing really.

    IAN THOMAS: Nothing? What do you mean nothing?

    ST PETER: Well (PAUSE) Oh my this is somewhat embarrassing to say the least and not at all the norm I can assure you Mr Thomas.(PAUSE) Err Well (PAUSE) the thing is Mr Thomas OH MY!(PAUSE) Well you donít appear to be on the list.

    IAN THOMAS: LIST! What list?

    ST PETER: Erm the list of intakes. The list of souls expected here today.

    IAN THOMAS: (AGITATED) Come again. Iím not on the list? Youíre telling me Iím DEAD! Here in HEAVEN and Iím not on the list...

    COLONEL THOMAS: (OFF BEAT) Ah well boyo, if youíre not on Peteís list perhaps you should be down at ole Nickís place like ainít that right Pete? And if you should be down there like, I be going before you boyo. What do you say Pete?

    IAN THOMAS: I canít believe this is happing to me.

    ST PETER: No you canít please sit back down, and itís Saint Peter if you donít mind. Look Mr Thomas Iím sure this is just a slight glitch...

    IAN THOMAS: A slight glitch! Iím standing at the gates of Heaven supposedly DEAD and Iím not on the list! A slight GLITCH!

    ST PETER: Please Mr Thomas calm down your names here but no other details, Iím sure itís just a computer erratum and someone has left your details off by mistake...

    COLONEL THOMAS: (OFF BEAT) Maybe youíve been deleted boyo, surplus to requirements like, some ones pressed your delete key man!

    ST PETER: We donít have a delete key here Colonel... Mr Thomas Iím going to see someone to try and get this error corrected, please take a seat I wonít be long....

    IAN THOMAS: Calm down calm down why the hell should I calm down


    FADE


    SCENE 2 THE DECISION:
    INT: ECLOSED QUIET ROOM

    ST PETER: So thatís it in a nutshell. What are we going to do?

    ST MAXIMUS: (STAMMERED) M m m most ir ir ir irregular, yes yes m m most irregular in in indeed.

    ST SEBASTIAN: (BEAT) And youíve gone through the ledgers you say?

    ST PETER: Yes. His name is in the ledger but he has no due date no arrival time no cause of death

    ST SEBASTIAN: Something has gone terribly wrong here

    ST PETER:ST PETER: Obviously! But what are we going to do about it?

    ST MAXIMUS: S s someoneís going to h h have to to to tell h h him. He needs to know about this itís to to to ca ca cata cata itís too big for us to handle.

    ST PETER: Well for one Iím not telling him! Itís not part of my job description; Iím only the gate keeper.

    ST SEBASTIAN: Ok Ok, letís just take this a step at a time letís not rush in to things here, letís get all the facts first shall we, before we have to take this upstairs. Maximus go get Saint Martha in the mapping room and letís find out whoís his cartographer


    FX: CHAIR SCRAPES ON THE FLOOR THEN THE DOOR OPENS AND THEN CLOSES


    ST SEBASTIAN: How on Earth could this of happened? We have procedures?

    ST PETER: I blame the computers; we never had this problem when we just had the ledgers. It was simple then, if someone made an error and entered a souls name by mistake on the expected list they would just complete the return-to-sender box and the soul wouldnít arrive. I know sometimes they would get half way, but never any further. And certainly wouldnít enter arrivals.

    ST SEBASTIAN: You canít always blame the computers when something goes wrong Peter. Things go wrong with the ledgers as well you know that. Look what happened at the Wolfs Lair in 1944. I mean, running out of ink and then missing a page.


    ST PETER: I didnít know anything about that I was very busy then; and well you know it.


    FX: DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES


    ST SEBASTIAN: Ah Saint Martha come in come in take a seat please.

    ST MARTHA: Thank you

    ST SEBASTIAN: Did Maximus fill you in with the details about our unexpected visitor we have in arrivals

    ST MARTHA: Sebastian, I canít be held responsible for this, you know we are short staffed and the shear workload is increasing every day, we are doing our best to keep things up to date. (CONT) (SIGH) So much so we are down to working only one monthís in advance now and our mistake percentage is only running at..

    ST SEBASTIAN: (BEAT) How did this happen? Who was responsible? How did this error get through the system? You know weíve got to take this upstairs and tell Him. (PAUSE) And it looks like itís going to be me that will have to do this so I want all the facts. All of them you understand!

    ST MARTHA: It was a new girl. She had only just come out of training.

    ST SEBASTIAN: Whatís her name, go bring her here Maximus.

    ST MAXIMUS: D d do yo yo you think thatís n n nes nes nessasary.

    ST SEBASTIAN: (BEAT) Yes I want her here. Mather, whatís her name?

    ST MATHER: Oh really Sebastian there is no need to take it this far...

    ST SEBASTIAN: (BEAT) Perhaps you like to be the one who goes upstairs and tells our Lord and Master that we have an unexpected soul at the gate

    ST MARTHA: (BEAT)(HORRIFIED) Sister Goody!


    FX: UNDER: A CHAIR SCRAPES THE FLOOR THE DOOR OPENS AND THEN CLOSES


    ST PETER: (HEAVY SIGH) OH no I think I remember her; she didnít know what a cartographer was. She thought it was something to do with photographing carts. When I told her that it was mapping she said ĎIs heaven that big that you need an A-Zí

    ST SEBASTIAN: Ok Mather let me get this straight. All the names of the expected souls are entered on to the computer, copied from the ledgers

    ST MARTHA: Yes

    ST SEBASTIAN: What specific details are entered from the ledger?

    ST MARTHA: Names, obviously; date of death, arrival date, age, place, time, cause and finally destiny.

    ST SEBASTIAN: And what happens if you enter a name in error?

    ST MARTHA: A tick is placed in the error box marked entered in error.

    ST SEBASTIAN: Why donít you just delete the record or change the arrival date?

    ST MARTHA: You canít change anything once it has been entered and we donít have a delete key. When you put the tick in the box the record is ghosted out.

    ST SEBASTIAN: Who verifies the data once itís entered?


    ST MARTHA: Look (PAUSE) we are under a lot of pressure you have no idea...


    FX: A GENTLE TAPPING ON TH E DOOR THE DOOR OPENS AND THEN CLOSES


    ST MAXIMUS: S ssis Sssisster Goo goo goody Seba seba sebastian

    ST SEBASTIAN: What did you do Sister Goody?

    SISTER JADE : Iív dun nofin

    ST SEBASTIAN: You put a personís name on the expected list that shouldnít have been on it! You entered his name and thatís all. WHY didnít you enter a tick in the error box if he wasnít expected on that day! TODAY!

    ST PETER: (BEAT)You do know heís here, at the gate! Iíve told him heís dead and heíll be spending the rest of eternity here. Heís not a happy bunny Jade. In fact heís going through dire emotional surges the like Iíve never seen

    SISTER JADE : It aint me I aint dun anyfin

    ST SEBASTIAN: Does the name Ian Thomas ring any bells?

    SISTER JADE : Thomaas... Thomaas... Thomaas oh yeah I remember Ďim. He woz on the ledger but isnt gona be brown bread fur ages but I put is name in the compuah by mistake. I wuz gona delete it but a couldnít find a delete key then I remembered me trainin to put a tick in a box and that and then I couldnít fine the key wiv a tick on it...

    ST SEBASTIAN: Ok ok enough (HEAVY SIGH) take her back Maximus


    FX: SCRAPING OF A CHAIR ON THE FLOOR A DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES

    ST MARTHA: Will you be needing me anymore Sebastian?

    ST SABASTIAN: Yes wait here. Peter, you had better get back to the gate while I talk to Martha. And then Iíll have to go see him upstairs and try and get this whole mess sorted out


    FX: SCRAPING OF A CHAIR ON THE FLOOR A DOOR OPENS AND THEN CLOSES


    ST MARTHA: Sebastian I havenít got time to be sitting here...

    ST SEBASTIAN: This mess has got to be placed at your door Martha; sheís your responsibility.

    ST MARTHA: Sebastian you have no idea the pressure weíre under in the...


    FADE TO ARRIVALS
    GRAMS: FADE IN BACKGROUND MUSIC; BARBER AGNUS DEI; CHORAL; UNDER


    ST PETER: AH Colonel Thomas sorry Iíve kept you waiting. Now what did you say your full name was?


    FX: TAPPING OF A COMPUTER KEYBOAR FADDING OUT


    ST PETER: (UNDER TO FADE) T-H-O-M-A-S


    SCENE 3: THE HOSPITAL:
    INT: PRIVATE ROOM WITH LIFE SUPORT MACHINES
    FX: A GENTLE HUMMING NOISE WITH A HEART MONITER PINGING


    MARIA THOMAS: Ian, Ian can you hear me Ian?

    NURSE: Keep trying love it really does help

    MARIA THOMAS: How long is he going to be like this?

    NURSE: Itís hard to say, some patients are out of it for months with that kind of injury and some just a few hours.

    MARIA THOMAS: Ian, Ian itís me Maria your wife, can you hear me Ian

    IAN THOMAS: (LIGHT GROANING AND SOFT COUGHS)

    NURSE: Heís coming round. Iíll get the doctor


    FX: THE SWISH OF A SWINGING DOOR AND FOOTSTEPS FADING AWAY


    MARIA THOMAS: Ian, Ian love itís me Maria you wife.

    IAN THOMAS: (GROANS) Where am I?

    MARIA THOMAS: Your in hospital love, you had an accident.

    IAN THOMAS: (COMING ROUND) Hospital Hospital. Are you sure?

    MARIA THOMAS: Yes love, Kingston General you had a nasty accident you walked in front of a bus.

    IAN THOMAS: Iím not in Heaven?

    MARIA THOMAS: No Silly

    IAN THOMAS: But I was I was there! I saw Saint Peter and the Pearly Gates and heard the Choir of Angles singing and saw an obnoxious Welshman..


    FX: THE SWISH OF A SWING DOOR WITH FOOTSTEPS ENTERING

    DOCTOR: AH Mr Thomas back in the land of the living. Good Good. Now youíve had a nasty knock and may experience a headache for a day or two but Iím happy to say youíll have no lasting effects

    MARIA THOMAS: He said heís been to heaven doctor

    DOCTOR Nothing to worry about their Mrs Thomas; itís probably the anaestheticsí playing tricks on his mind making him hallucinate

    IAN THOMAS: (OFF) But I was there I tell you. I saw St Peter and the Pearly Gates the Choir of Angles (PAUSE) youíve got to believe me?

    DOCTOR: Iíll give you some tablets to take home with you when he leaves Mrs Thomas

    MARIA THOMAS: Oh thank you doctor thank you for all youíve done

    IAN THOMAS: You believe me donít you love

    MARIA THOMAS: Yes of course I do, now you just rest and get better


    FADE OUT
    Beer, Cigs, Caffeine, Fry-ups & Chocolate Cake. Always make sure you get your five a day!

  6. #6
    Member Moe Lester's Avatar
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    Aug 2010
    Location
    England
    Posts
    6
    Blog Entries
    3
    Brilliant I must say! Made me laugh. I'd love to see that on T.V
    "Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives"

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