Portrait of a Manicured Mess - Page 2


Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 19 of 19

Thread: Portrait of a Manicured Mess

  1. #11
    SilverMoon - I could not let this one flaunt-on-by without affording comments from my busy non-schedule; this Poem shrews all-too-familiarly from my personal/observational orbits, exactingly & uncomfortably (the markings of literature) so; where as others may see/read here as a "litany" Poem, I see the Gatling-gun firings, a whacking of Prosetry/targeting of the pathos, all too "commonly" denied by Its players, rife from Long Island>Long Key, a longing for more "happiness" meted-out through that most dangerous of words...more (I Want My Maypo!") H'H.
    "Only He Whom Hath Deigned To Truly Live Afeared Of The Death!" H.e.m./H'H.

  2. #12
    WF Veteran SilverMoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    2,511
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thank you so much, Haro, for taking time out of your busy schedule. More... is the operative word, here. More "things" to fill up that emptly space, a "death like region", hence the last line. And I found it "was" an all to comon pathology of Manhattan women (and certainly more around the world). I was afraid it might be read as a litany but you have put my fears at rest! It's all about The Nature of Human Condition. What I try to keep a keen eye on. Haro, thank you again. Laurie ~
    “The man who cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.”
    Andre Breton

  3. #13
    As a newbie I have no critique to give, but I can say my personal favorite line was

    "platinum hand-cuffed to Tiffany’s;"

    I can't quiet say why but this line jumped at me, possibly from my mother always dragging me through this store when I was little boy. Well written, it was enjoyable to read and I think I'll be reading it a few more time. Perhaps I'll be a bit more helpful later on.

  4. #14
    WF Veteran SilverMoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    2,511
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thank you Connway and welcome! Am so pleased you enjoyed my poem and the imagey you pointed out. One of my favorites, too.
    “The man who cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.”
    Andre Breton

  5. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    20
    "Tomorrow, she'll stuff death into a Chanel suit".
    Just when I think you're put of punches... pow!
    Great ending, strong portrait. I think the stream-of-consciousness style serves this poem well, I enjoyed reading it.

  6. #16
    WF Veteran SilverMoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    2,511
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thank you Curtis! Always a big POW with my endings! So glad you enjoyed the read. Laurie
    “The man who cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.”
    Andre Breton

  7. #17
    Laurie, I don't know how I missed this poem now that it has been over a year since you first posted it. You know I love your writings on the Human Condition and this is quite telling.

    Hubby,who hangs his pride
    on a hat stand,
    handing her Franklin faces.
    I love this stanza. Both of them are full of themselves.

    And the last line:

    Tomorrow, she'll stuff death into a Channel suit.
    Can't stop thinking she's impressing .
    Last edited by Nellie; December 16th, 2011 at 07:07 PM. Reason: delete word

  8. #18
    I like it - very skillful - although I need a little American-English translation to understand all of the references. Or maybe I just don't mix in the right circles

    I will post a poem I write a few years ago on a similar theme.

    Ravel

  9. #19
    WF Veteran SilverMoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    2,511
    Blog Entries
    1
    Much appreciation to you both for appreciating this older poem of mine. Yes, Cindy. Sadly enough she lives to impress, having no sense of self. Death-like in a Channel suit.
    “The man who cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.”
    Andre Breton

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.