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Thread: Methadone Home

  1. #31
    Something has gone wrong here, and the result is that for me, this is too flawed to work. It wavers between sensationalism and cliché, and ends up just being a bit too much like a parent's horror tale to forbid their ten year old to ever consider drugs.

    The whole "skag poem" thing has been done to death, and to be honest 99 per cent of them are shit. The few that work usually work because they're very honest, very true and touch on the reality of the situation rather than being a postcard "wish you were here?" from a non-empathetic point of view. Indeed, the only actual reference to drugs comes in the title, and to be frank if Methadone was being used, then the likelihood is that it's being gained from a programme of some sort. The "street" value of methadone is low because it's not typical. If someone gets it legitimately, they usually take it because they need to. If someone on the street offers it, few buy because they get the real thing; methadone isn't a bundle of laughs when compared to other opiates, which is why rehabs use it.

    Bottled urine? Why would she have bottle urine? I can only assume that you're trying to indicate that she has pissed in a bottle? Now, I'm no woman, but as a man with a penis, I'd find it difficult to urinate into a bottle when sober, let alone when ragged off my tits. I doubt a lady would have any better experience. Maybe she gets the bottled urine delivered, by the Piss Man? A pint a day, please!

    "Sharon reeks of tobacco
    and musty hamper.
    She supplies the laced
    smokes."


    Nope, don't get it. She supplies the laced smokes? What laced smokes? If you are implying she sells a bit of puff, then she'd have a few bob, and she'd be with it. I just don't see a dealer in this poem, so what does that actually mean?

    The bit about John's made me think too. She doesn't sound like much of a trick-turner, does she. Okay, a few bums might want a freebie, but most Johns are wiulling to pay, and might prefer someone with a pulse.

    It's too contrived, too artificially doomy, too off-target for me.

  2. #32
    Pete_C - It's a guy, which gives John's a different angle. I know that's not clear. But what you're saying is what I feared. It feels contrived because I wouldn't know how it is without doing the research. Your critique is harsh but feels accurate.
    "I think it's blessed are the cheese makers." "...What's so special about the cheese makers?" - Life of Brian

  3. #33
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    20
    I agree with Laurie, the economy of language makes this piece and I enjoyed its minimalism.
    Especially liked the aural quality of the last stanza.
    Very dark, very good.

    C

  4. #34
    Pete_C - The ones that you said worked for you, I'd like to read them. Can you point me in the right direction? It makes me want to make the next Poetry Challenge- "A Skag Poem". And if we did, I'd very much like to see your take on it.
    Last edited by NathanBrazil; June 1st, 2010 at 04:51 PM.
    "I think it's blessed are the cheese makers." "...What's so special about the cheese makers?" - Life of Brian

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