Without a gun


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Thread: Without a gun

  1. #1

    Without a gun

    (Mostly based off feelings of claustrophobia and fear in large cities)

    If safety exists within the mind
    Why do I hate myself all the time?
    Pacing, scheming, scared of what I may do
    Iím safe as fuck in my little room
    Iím - so - scared - whatís out there?
    Faces looking with their shallow eyes
    Cloaking their malevolent disguise?
    With quiet cries
    I will not be confined to the shadows
    I will not be locked away any further

    Oh, what a frightful place!
    Full of empty eyes and hollow space
    These streets are full of indecencies
    How can I feel safe without a gun?

    Passerbys plotting my violent demise
    Quiet protest, meaningless lies
    You all think so high of me
    But inside Iím so low I secretly just bleed
    Bleed my time away, I watch you through the glass
    Staring in, shatter it, these feelings will not pass
    Confined - demise - I will make myself heard
    I will live free or I will be burned

    Oh, what a frightful place!
    Full of empty eyes and hollow space
    These streets are full of indecencies
    How can I feel safe without a gun?
    Without a gun?

    Itís fine
    I bought one
    Itís large but fitting with an iron trigger
    One fucking shot right between those eyes
    Make sleeping beauty lose her sight
    Lose her sight
    Sheíll be blind
    Just - like -
    ME

    Oh, what a frightful place!
    Full of empty eyes and hollow space
    These streets are full of indecencies
    How can I feel safe without a gun?
    Oh, what a frightful place!
    Full of empty eyes and hollow space
    These streets are full of indecencies
    How can I feel safe without a gun?
    Oh, what a frightful place!
    Full of empty eyes and hollow space
    These streets are full of indecencies
    How can I feel safe without a gun?
    Without a gun?
    Without a gun?
    Gun
    Gun
    GUN!

  2. #2
    You kind of slap our face with the message a bit. I mean, can you get more obvious than "I'm so scared, whats out there?"? I'm not sure there's much thats redeemable from this...maybe just start all over again, but with rather more subtlety? Pretty harsh I know, and I'm sorry, but that's what I see. Maybe someone else will disagree.

  3. #3
    The title of this song immediately drew me in. I had a good idea of what I might be about to read and the lines were good for the most part. Though I didn't feel like the message was too in your face, I was a little offput by the third verse/bridge (should probably be rewritten) and didn't like the repetition of "gun" at the end of the song.

  4. #4
    Overall, Without A Gun is a solidly written. The following lines are well-written: "If safety exists within the mind/Why do I hate myself all the time?".

  5. #5
    This is a cutting edge lyrics. Many thanks!!!

  6. #6
    I can relate to writing lyrics that are very literal and matter of fact, although I am trying to move away from this as it can come across very blunt and lacking in 'story quality'. I like the composition and some of the lyrics are good. My only criticism is that the verses are too literal and you use 'I' too much. Use as a draft for a longer project??

  7. #7
    Member Guard Dog's Avatar
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    I like it. Would like to hear it set to music.

    As far as a "slap in the face", well, I love Gin Wigmore, and that young lady as issues...
    ( Seriously, folks, go listen to some of her stuff. If she doesn't have bodies buried out in the back 40, nobody does. )

    Anyway, sometimes a smack in the chops is just what the doctor ordered. So...


    G.D.

    Edit: Huh... 8 years old now... Didn't catch that when I posted. I wonder what happened with this, if anything?

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