The New Bad Writing Competition...just for laughs! (LANGUAGE) - Page 28


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Thread: The New Bad Writing Competition...just for laughs! (LANGUAGE)

  1. #271
    Congratulations, you guys have taken bad writing to a whole new level of obsequiousness and pedantry, not to mention sesquipedalian loquaciousness.

    (I'm not exactly sure what I said)
    "Put not your trust not in princes, in the children of men,
    in whom there is no salvation."
    Psalm 146

    Timely, isn't it?

  2. #272
    ^ You're right … I think ...

    Site:
    Hidden Content

    The simplest truths are written on the wall,
    where we see imaginary greatness in our fall.

  3. #273
    Quote Originally Posted by midnightpoet View Post
    Congratulations, you guys have taken bad writing to a whole new level of obsequiousness and pedantry, not to mention sesquipedalian loquaciousness.

    (I'm not exactly sure what I said)
    O wondrous God of Words expound upon and share thy meanings!

    How sweet the moonlight sleeps upon this bank!
    Here will we sit, and let the sounds of music
    Creep into our ears: soft stillness and the night
    Become the touches of sweet harmony.

    - Shakespeare,
    Merchant...Act 5


  4. #274
    Quote Originally Posted by midnightpoet View Post
    not to mention sesquipedalian loquaciousness.

    (I'm not exactly sure what I said)
    I think that's a cross between a squash, vidalia onion and loquats, yes?
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you’ll be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  5. #275
    Quote Originally Posted by Gumby View Post
    I think that's a cross between a squash, vidalia onion and loquats, yes?
    No, I think it is liqueur of a seven-legged horse?

    How sweet the moonlight sleeps upon this bank!
    Here will we sit, and let the sounds of music
    Creep into our ears: soft stillness and the night
    Become the touches of sweet harmony.

    - Shakespeare,
    Merchant...Act 5


  6. #276
    It's not as good as some of the other stuff in this thread, but I want to share my story anyway, because I am going to be a super duper author extraordinary one day and I want the world to see that I wrote with the best of them.

    THE FALL OF MOGDRA

    "Come" Varren said, waving his arms "we have much to do."

    "I don't know" replied the elf Rae'the'on, his long, shining hair blowing gracefully in the gentle wind that kicked up from the south, "It might be a trap."

    The two friends had journeyed many miles and many days, questing for justice against the evil Mogdra, an evil being that had enslaved the entire land with its evil army of darkness and orcs, and they had faced many challenges and trials along the way, including a harrowing battle with a giant four-eyed eldritch monstrosity that had badly injured their other friend, Stormbeard, who was a dwarf. Now they stood outside Mogdra's villainous castle.

    "I shall fight alongside you" said Stormbeard, planting his axe, which was steel with ornate carvings and runes, firmly into the dirt. Varren gave Rae'the'on a look that let him know that he was not sure about their friend's ability to fight alongside them.

    "No, Stormbeard," he said, "Your life is too precious to us, we cannot risk it."

    "Damn you, I will fight!" said the dwarf angrily, giving his friends an angry glare, "I have come this far and I have not turned away despite being injured by the four-eyed eldritch monster that Mogdra left in our path, and Varren, I saved you and nursed you back to health after the battle with the Witch of Carnage, so you have some nerve telling me to stand back like a coward while you two charge in and risk your lives!"

    "Yes, I was wrong to doubt you" said Varren, hanging his head shamefully "We shall all three face Mogdra together."

    He lifted his sword, which was an ancient relic created by the Olden Ones specifically for the eradication of a being such as Mogdra. Fiery jewels set into the Ormigarian steel of the blade glinted despite there being no sunlight because of the evil gathered clouds. Rae'the'on and Stormbeard gasped appreciatively, admiring the well-crafted blade.

    "Fools!" said Mogdra, appearing behind Varren and striking him down with a sword just like Varren's but with darkness gems. This time, Stormbeard and Rae'the'on gasped in terror as Mogdra turned and advanced on them. Rae'the'on fired an arrow at him, but it bounced off the dark armor that he wore. Stormbeard leapt at him with his axe, but the blade bounced off like the arrow. Mogdra laughed.

    "Pitiful mortals, I am too powerful!"

    Rae'the'on and Stormbeard knew it was all over, but then Varren leapt to his feet and cut him in half with a swing of his mighty blade.

    "Evil will never triumph over good!" He said as Mogdra faded away, and the curse was lifted, causing everything to go back to the way it was.

    "Varren, you had us worried!" said Rae'the'on, but his anger was just playful. Stormbeard laughed and said "Let us go get a drink at the pub to celebrate!"

    And that they did, and Mogdra never threatened the land again... or did he?

    To be continued...
    Last edited by AtleanWordsmith; July 29th, 2015 at 10:58 PM.
    If you're not sure how to take something I say, keep in mind that Bob Ross is my spirit animal. Hidden Content .

    “The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.”
    Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!



  7. #277
    angry dwarf..ha...
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  8. #278
    A good effort. There are a number of stories showing what might have happened if the Nazis had won World War 2, but "The Fall Of Mogdra" is probably the most realistic that I've read.

    I was a little surprised, though, to find your hidden message, revealed by highlighting certain letters, following a simple mathematical equation ...

    Quote Originally Posted by AtleanWordsmith View Post
    It's not as good as some of the other stuff in this thread, but I want to share my story anyway, because I am going to be a super duper author extraordinary one day and I want the world to see that I wrote with the best of them.

    THE FALL OF MOGDRA

    "Come" Varren said, waving his arms "we have much to do."

    "I don't know" replied the elf Rae'the'on, his long, shining hair blowing gracefully in the gentle wind that kicked up from the south, "It might be a trap."

    The two friends had journeyed many miles and many days, questing for justice against the evil Mogdra, an evil being that had enslaved the entire land with its evil army of darkness and orcs, and they had faced many challenges and trials along the way, including a harrowing battle with a giant four-eyed eldritch monstrosity that had badly injured their other friend, Stormbeard, who was a dwarf. Now they stood outside Mogdra's villainous castle.

    "I shall fight alongside you" said Stormbeard, planting his axe, which was steel with ornate carvings and runes, firmly into the dirt. Varren gave Rae'the'on a look that let him know that he was not sure about their friend's ability to fight alongside them.

    "No, Stormbeard," he said, "Your life is too precious to us, we cannot risk it."

    "Damn you, I will fight!" said the dwarf angrily, giving his friends an angry glare, "I have come this far and I have not turned away despite being injured by the four-eyed eldritch monster that Mogdra left in our path, and Varren, I saved you and nursed you back to health after the battle with the Witch of Carnage, so you have some nerve telling me to stand back like a coward while you two charge in and risk your lives!"

    "Yes, I was wrong to doubt you" said Varren, hanging his head shamefully "We shall all three face Mogdra together."

    He lifted his sword, which was an ancient relic created by the Olden Ones specifically for the eradication of a being such as Mogdra. Fiery jewels set into the Ormigarian steel of the blade glinted despite there being no sunlight because of the evil gathered clouds. Rae'the'on and Stormbeard gasped appreciatively, admiring the well-crafted blade.

    "Fools!" said Mogdra, appearing behind Varren and striking him down with a sword just like Varren's but with darkness gems. This time, Stormbeard and Rae'the'on gasped in terror as Mogdra turned and advanced on them. Rae'the'on fired an arrow at him, but it bounced off the dark armor that he wore. Stormbeard leapt at him with his axe, but the blade bounced off like the arrow. Mogdra laughed.

    "Pitiful mortals, I am too powerful!"

    Rae'the'on and Stormbeard knew it was all over, but then Varren leapt to his feet and cut him in half with a swing of his mighty blade.

    "Evil will never triumph over good!" He said as Mogdra faded away, and the curse was lifted, causing everything to go back to the way it was.

    "Varren, you had us worried!" said Rae'the'on, but his anger was just playful. Stormbeard laughed and said "Let us go get a drink at the pub to celebrate!"

    And that they did, and Mogdra never threatened the land again... or did he?

    To be continued...
    This strikes me as threatening behaviour ...

  9. #279
    Quote Originally Posted by AtleanWordsmith View Post
    "Come" Varren said, waving his arms "we have much to do."

    "I don't know" replied the elf Rae'the'on, his long, shining hair blowing gracefully in the gentle wind that kicked up from the south, "It might be a trap."
    These lines made my face leak a little.
    He lifted his sword, which was an ancient relic created by the Olden Ones specifically for the eradication of a being such as Mogdra. Fiery jewels set into the Ormigarian steel of the blade glinted despite there being no sunlight because of the evil gathered clouds. Rae'the'on and Stormbeard gasped appreciatively, admiring the well-crafted blade.
    appropriate response...in fantasy.
    "Evil will never triumph over good!" He said as Mogdra faded away, and the curse was lifted, causing everything to go back to the way it was.
    Whew!
    "Varren, you had us worried!" said Rae'the'on, but his anger was just playful. Stormbeard laughed and said "Let us go get a drink at the pub to celebrate!"
    Funny, after reading that going on a bender sounds like a good idea. :p

    Good badness, Atlean! Enjoyed.

  10. #280
    Oh, I am so glad you caught and desiphered the sekeret hidden messige, HC! I think you mite have saved the hole fourum from distruckshun. We o youu a det of onner.

    A-dub, I am sirprized you wood try to sneek one passed us like that. Just shokt, actully.
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you’ll be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

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