The New Bad Writing Competition...just for laughs! (LANGUAGE)

[Gyarachu]

I luve lurkign this thread. please tell me you've have all have read DOOM: Repercussions of Evil. If not, it is imperative that you need to promptly do so as ASAP as possible.

[Foxee]

It was a dark and stormy night when the shot rang out and the Great Detective was puzzled by the locked room where he found a gold digger armed to the teeth and it was plain on the nose on your face that the corpse bit the dust and the body was still warm and he knew he had bought the farm but he wanted bragging rights but it was just a bump in the road so he burned the midnight oil until he decided to call it a day because you can’t have your cake and eat it too so he chewed the fat and come hell or high water he knew that crime doesn’t pay so to get to the bottom of it the then decided to go with his gut and get the hell out of Dodge.

I think that in every life a little rain must fall and you have crumbled the cookie by taking it to the next level where a penny saved is a bird in the hand!

I luve lurkign this thread. please tell me you've have all have read DOOM: Repercussions of Evil. If not, it is imperative that you need to promptly do so as ASAP as possible.

Have not! I guess I should do that, though! Glad you enjoy lurking here.

[J Anfinson]

Wendy ran as fast as her stubby legs would let her. Only six months ago, she'd been taller, but then she'd shrunk. The vampire was hot on her tail, and it was whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she ran. There was no way Lara was going to slow down, not after what had happened to her boyfriend. She kept running, her feet slapping the ground like they were in a tub of ice cream. The werewolf was gaining, it wouldn't be long before it had her, and then what was he going to do?

She swung around and punched it. The vampire hit the ground like a sack of puppies. "I hate you," she screamed.

"But it's in my nature," the wolf snarled.

"I don't care. Go back to the haunted house you came from."

The creature stood and pouted. It new that it was overpowered by Margarette's fury. So the ghost flew back to it's house and scared children away instead.

Th End.

[Gumby]

The vampire was hot on her tail

I hate when that happens. Poor Wendlargarette.


I found your characters to be multi-face-ted, lots of layers, many levels, great depth, as if there was no end to them, the levels, the layers, the facest. Very deep work, J. It was endless, really.

The end.

[Warrior Monk]

It was a dark and stormy night when the shot rang out and the Great Detective was puzzled by the locked room where he found a gold digger armed to the teeth and it was plain on the nose on your face that the corpse bit the dust and the body was still warm and he knew he had bought the farm but he wanted bragging rights but it was just a bump in the road so he burned the midnight oil until he decided to call it a day because you can’t have your cake and eat it too so he chewed the fat and come hell or high water he knew that crime doesn’t pay so to get to the bottom of it the then decided to go with his gut and get the hell out of Dodge.

A masterful stream of consciousness. James Joyce would be jealous. Any more cliches and I would have had a seizure. Great work!

[midnightpoet]

When you get praise for bad writing, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Heh. Thanks, anyway (I think).

[Gumby]

Originally Posted by midnightpoet

It was a dark and stormy night when the shot rang out and the Great Detective was puzzled by the locked room where he found a gold digger armed to the teeth and it was plain on the nose on your face that the corpse bit the dust and the body was still warm and he knew he had bought the farm but he wanted bragging rights but it was just a bump in the road so he burned the midnight oil until he decided to call it a day because you can’t have your cake and eat it too so he chewed the fat and come hell or high water he knew that crime doesn’t pay so to get to the bottom of it the then decided to go with his gut and get the hell out of Dodge.

Oh how did I miss this little jool? I agree with Warrior Monkey, it was a real streem of stuff! I specially like yure masterful use of punctuation throout the peace. The beginning grabbed me and jus wouldnt let go of me until I'd gotten it all out of my sight. Grate work!

[Foxee]

Wendy ran as fast as her stubby legs would let her. Only six months ago, she'd been taller, but then she'd shrunk.

I'm pretty sure this has actually happened to me.

The vampire was hot on her tail, and it was whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she ran. There was no way Lara was going to slow down, not after what had happened to her boyfriend. She kept running, her feet slapping the ground like they were in a tub of ice cream. The werewolf was gaining, it wouldn't be long before it had her, and then what was he going to do?

This is a good question! When running from a horney monster who just did something totally unmentionable to one's boyfriend, this is what one has to ask oneself! While running, of course.

She swung around and punched it. The vampire hit the ground like a sack of puppies. "I hate you," she screamed.

"But it's in my nature," the wolf snarled.

"I don't care. Go back to the haunted house you came from."

The creature stood and pouted. It new that it was overpowered by Margarette's fury. So the ghost flew back to it's house and scared children away instead.

Th End.

I'm totally stealing this and publishing it elsewhere. Go me. No one can withstand a vampire hitting the ground like a sack of puppies!

[The Tourist]

“Do you come here often?” crazed mercenary Lance Ironstaff mused to the comely female replacement next to him in the foxhole.

The buxom huntress brushed back her diaphanous locks, then drew her compound bow back effortlessly. A crisp release, and she deposited a broadhead into an enemy’s brisket while he was a at full gallop. The bow had a serious draw weight, and she had led the target with practiced precision. A good strong female lead.

“The name’s Skylar,” the archer stated flatly, “You got any rations with you, Slick?”

“Give you my last candy bar after seeing you make a shot like that, ”Lance quipped, “No breakfast?”

“I can’t kill on a full stomach, but scoring a point makes me ravenous,” she gushed.

“Scoring a point?” the mercenary spit.

“Yeah,” Skylar responded, “I keep score, it’s just a diversion. The game is the hunger…”

Hey, what did you expect me to write?

[Foxee]

“Do you come here often?” crazed mercenary Lance Ironstaff mused to the comely female replacement next to him in the foxhole.

The buxom huntress brushed back her diaphanous locks, then drew her compound bow back effortlessly. A crisp release, and she deposited a broadhead into an enemy’s brisket while he was a at full gallop. The bow had a serious draw weight, and she had led the target with practiced precision. A good strong female lead.

I'd make more comments than this but I'm too busy reading this and giggling.