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magic

  1. W

    Ki-like magic system

    I was wanting your opinions on this idea to create a magic system (somewhere between soft and hard, might I add) for a fantasy world that's similar to the concept of ki/qi. Of course, it's a fantasy world (actually, it's more of a fantasy/steampunk cross, albeit not spellpunk), so I was wanting...
  2. Stormcat

    Crafting a magic system

    I wanted to post a "magical" smiley to grab your attention, but this was the closest I could get: :albino: So I'm writing a fantasy story with magic. I've just gotten to the part where the magic is revealed, but I'm still not sure if I want to make it a hard or soft magic system for the story...
  3. Solus

    Lucien the fallen

    (I would recommend reading the redraft rather than this one, as I consider the second iteration superior) Let me tell you about my life Let tell you about my dreams Let me tell you of a life adrift, I wish it wasn't me Of my everlasting strife Of a mind tearing at the seams Of my arrogance and...
  4. C

    magic system opinions and thoughts ?

    I was wondering if you would give your opinion on my magic system so here is a quick breakdown , The world is a fantasy world with ww2 tech level and magic the magic is called Animus or life energy and it works by people drawing on the life energy of themselves or the things round them depending...
  5. S

    Paths of the Eternal, WIP story [2134 words]

    This is a young story, with many flaws, and youthful trappings wrapped around its infantile ankles.The names are from a constructed language of my own making, that too is a work in progress. They may seem random, but they are all based on a robust root system, with solid meanings. "Ir Irit", for...
  6. S

    Chapter One, 2500 words, fantasy**language warning

    It’s time to walk. It was always time to walk. For a Walker knows no other life but to walk the Earth until they come of age. It does not matter where a Walker goes once he’s given his hooded cloak. Only that he returns when he is called. As the lone Walker turns his back on the icy fortress...
  7. P

    Perculiar Chronicles of Withering Hall - Prologue 2

    (warning, you will need to read prologue 1 to make any sense of this) Prologue 2 – Withering Hall reality Cross-reality date 1700; Location: North Riding of Yorkshire, near Church Fenton. In the woods that abutted Church Fenton, a solitary, ramshackle cottage stood. Two figures approached the...
  8. P

    The Peculiar Chronicles Of Withering Hall Prologue 2nd draft

    (Took on board some of what you guys said and decided to split the prologues in two. This, the first, will take place in the Hallowed Lands reality. The second prologue, in the Withering Hall reality is still under construction.) Prologue One – Hallowed Lands Reality Date: 1700. Time 2300...
  9. P

    The Peculiar Chronicles Of Withering Hall

    (I have overcome the temptation to bottle out of posting this prologue. Be gentle with me! It's a first draft of a hopefully not too serious fantasy story involving two realities, a woman, two men, an inheritance and cheese sandwiches. I have written 23,000 words so far and will need to go back...
  10. Narnia

    Fall From Grace (Book Opening)

    "Snap!" A twig gave way under her boot. She pushed herself against the tree line. The forest had its ways of carrying sounds one didn’t want to be heard. The hood of her cloak concealed her in its depths as she let her eyes wander over the woodland, searching for a movement. Not a branch so...
  11. E

    YA fantasy/adventure novel, aimed at 12-14 year olds

    Go to page 2 of this thread for redraft This is a 2nd draft of the first 500 words of my NaNoWriMo novel and I'd really appreciate any feedback. The story becomes much more fantasy-genred by the end of the chapter, but I'm worried that this first bit is maybe a little too ordinary-world to set...
  12. G

    Faerie And Her Neighbour

    'Welcome to Wintermist's school,' said Professor Wintermist. 'It is always nice to see such a happy group of smiling faces. You are, of course, quite misguided.' 'Oh, that's lovely, that is!' said Daniel, under his breath. 'Statistically, six of you will get married to someone in this room.'...
  13. G

    The Mobile Monster Zoo

    The light was blinding white, like a magnesium burn. Bethany, Caitlin, Jake and Derek were all being sucked through a light, airy tunnel. The wind rushed past them as a large red bus zipped along beside them. The people onboard did not seem to notice anything strange was happening. Another white...
  14. Mreichardt

    The Will of Fire: Island of the Old Kings: Chapter 8 (Novel)

    Chapter 8 is done! This one took longer to write than most, 3 days. I tried to take this chapter as a break in the action, a chance for some exposition and an opportunity to introduce two new characters, the ones seen briefly back in Chapter 5. Let me know what you think! Chapter Eight...
  15. Mreichardt

    The Will of Fire: Island of the Old Kings: Chapter 7 (Novel)

    Another chapter down. This one has a lot of traveling going on in it. I'm particularly interested in thoughts on my pacing and descriptions of things. Thanks and (hopefully) enjoy! :bigsmurf: Chapter Seven: The Forgotten Dead The sun had fully risen by the time their march resumed...
  16. Razzazzika

    A small time-travel-ish scene tidbit(Urban Fantasy)(939 words)[so far]

    I relayed the time to Bruce. Bruce's eyes looked skyward a moment, or maybe into his head. He started mumbling things under his breath. I heard random words like 'under two days' and 'bubble' and 'is it safe?'. Finally he seemed to decide on something and yelled, "I have a solution!" I squinted...
  17. Mreichardt

    The Will of Fire: Island of the Old Kings: Chapter 6 (novel)

    I managed to get Chapter Six written surprisingly quickly over two nights. With this chapter I've passed the 100 page mark. \\:D/ Chapter Six: Into the Marshes Though he had been woken hours ago, in truth it seemed more like days. Governor Siranis stood in his chamber at the top of his...
  18. Mreichardt

    The Will of Fire: Island of the Old Kings: Chapter 5 (Novel)

    Chapter Five is done, and it's over 6,500 words long. Let me know what you think if you manage to get through it all ;-) Chapter Five: Bells and Blazes A torrential downpour weighed down on them as they made their way through the marsh, two figures wrapped in black cloaks astride gray...
  19. Mreichardt

    The Will of Fire: Island of the Old Kings: Chapter 4 (Novel)

    Just finished chapter 4. This one took a little longer than the last one. More exposition than previous chapters, but the big action isn't too far off. Let me know what you guys think. Chapter Four: Hammers in the Cupboard Our northern visitors are miraculous folk indeed! We left their camp on...
  20. Mreichardt

    The Will of Fire: Island of the Old Kings: Chapter 3 (Novel)

    Here's another sample from what I'm working on. First I want to say thanks for the comments so far. For some reason it's not letting me post anything else in the thread for Chapters 1 and 2, but I have read all of them and have fixed some things that were pointed out to me. I appreciate anything...
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