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feedback welcome

  1. Laima_Bean99

    Chapter 1 from my first draft of a book called Close to Home.

    Collaboration Romance Thriller 
    Anita. Staring out into the darkness from my train carriage I could just about make out the beginnings of the city. Trees and fields are slowly becoming more scarce, black buildings dimly lit by security lights flash by me and I can imagine that if it was daylight, the landscape would become...
  2. K

    "Disguise." Feedback please

    I'd love feedback on my poem, I wrote it randomly and I'd appreciate your honesty. It’s easier to say “I’m fine,” than to explain the mayhem in my mind. It’s only a matter of time until it begins to leak off the edge. And I don’t have the energy to talk, but I promise you this way is best...
  3. nath881

    Trapped - A Short Story

    Trapped Who is this man? Why does he insist on crying? I'm not doing anything to him. Not yet, anyway. I look down. I see my arm, I seem my hand connected to my arm, I see my hand grasping something. What is that? I don't know. I wish I did. Where am I? I look around. I have no clue...
  4. ThreadWhisperer

    A Wizards Duties (466wd Rough Intro - Hard Critiques Welcomed)

    The following is something that hit me while editing a different work of mine, so it was jotted down as a kind of rough draft prologue to maintain the central idea for a short (15-20k word) story. When I re-opened this to give it a little tuning it seemed pretty good with some exceptions of...