I like the new opening you posted. Simply because blood on his face is dramatic in the 3rd paragraph. I wasn't too big of a fan of mental issues implied
Theglasshouse Today, 02:51 AM"Likes" as comparisons/symbolism are similes. Example: "And the moon is a sliver of silver / Like a shaving that fell on the floor of a
ArrowInTheBowOfTheLord Today, 02:31 AMI'd say... those characters in your book from where they get their names?
I mean, within their world, the fantasy realm you've created, where that
Over-thinking, or legit issue (regarding social awareness in my writing)
very well said.
indianroads Today, 02:54 AM