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dgirl1986

Life Pain

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Something I wrote in the depths of depression late last year. It was the last thing I wrote actually, it was intended to be a poem but I do not think it actually reads that way.

Going through the motions but feeling nothing.
No Joy.
No drive.
No content.
No calm.
No frustration.
The only hint of emotion resides in the stomach.
It feels...helplessness.

The eyes are tired and the heart is heavy.
Patience and compassion, whihc are normally present, are missing.
Even the daydreams do not visit as the mind becomes guarded.
Such images are not welcome.

The mind is tired, the body is tired and the soul is tired.
Tired of business, stress and monotony.
Tired of food, heat and aches.
Tired of searching, reaching and changing.
Longing for quiet, peace and freedom.

Interaction becomes tiresome, often a one way street.
What point is there for the effort if it will not be reciprocated?
Why must one make the effort when the recipient is barely tolerable?
Why must family obligations be met when those concerned are abnormally selfish?

The care for such things evaporate and drama is avoided.
Social interaction is avoided.
Life is avoided.
Kind acts are pulled into question.
The pain of life, or living, brings three reactions.
To not care, to care too much and to give up.

It is between these three that this soul constantly visits.
A never ending cycle.
A never ending pain.
A never ending numbness.

On some occasions all three are in play and one must plaster on a flesh mask and appear normal to the outside world.

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Tags: depression, life, pain
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Comments

  1. Leyline's Avatar
    It certainly IS a poem.

    Been there. Hope you're feeling better now.
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