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dither

Me and my damned bladder, whatever...

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One of these days.

It's Sunday morning, or at least it was, twenty seven minutes ago, and, as always, first on my "to do" list is the long walk out of town for my cheap-store shopping . As is the way of things at this time of the week, I usually arose from my slumbers at about nine, roused by a steaming hangover, it's not as though I get drunk even, maybe my having worked a Friday night shift and not going to bed until Saturday night has something to do with it but anyway,Okay, I like a mug, or three, of cider on a Saturday afternoon and it is that that finally sends me to my bed. Whatever.inside my head the bells sure are ringing.

Once I'd washed and got myself dressed I drank mugs of coffee like it's going out of fashion, I really shouldn't do that, I'm always mindful of how much I drink in the week because of how long it takes me to get to work. I try to remember to use the public toilet in town on my way TO the cheap store, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Whatever.

This time I remembered but the was a sign on the door that read " CLOSED. Due to blockage." I knew, right there and then, I was going to have a problem. Yes there is a piece of neglected land with brambles, blackthorn bushes etc. but the weather was fine, cold because of a bracing wind, and today was "car boot sale day" that meant people.

Well, anyway, I did the walk, did the shopping, and the more I thought about it the more my bladder complained. By the time I'd left B&M's said bladder was really not happy. I would have to take my chances the waste-ground before I headed for home. There are a couple of small car-parks that are hidden from the main road by tall trees alongside a public footpath that has also been left neglected. In the corner of one of the car-parks I could see couple of old hgv trailers clearly unfit for use and so I got as far away from sight and as close to the back of these trailers as was possible, unzipped, almost peeing as I did so, and emptied my bag. It couldn't have taken more than thirty seconds, if that, but as I stepped out into the car-park, I saw a woman with her young daughter walking along the footpath, probably from the car boot sale. Had they seen me? I doubt it, i hope....not.

One of these days, me and my damned bladder...

dither...

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Updated October 20th, 2019 at 01:20 PM by dither

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Comments

  1. Winston's Avatar
    If the ladies saw anything, it was your male privilege showing.
  2. tinacrabapple's Avatar
    Bladders are the worst, especially when u old and been drinkin' away from a toilet. Or drinking coffee away from a toilet. Sorta all snowballs into a mess...
  3. dither's Avatar
    It can become a desperate situation in no time at all. I have to plan even the smallest journey and I don't drink anything after two hours before going to work.
  4. Kevin's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by tinacrabapple
    Bladders are the worst, especially when u old and been drinkin' away from a toilet. Or drinking coffee away from a toilet. Sorta all snowballs into a mess...
    and coffee can effect solids as well as liquids in that desperate way, if you know what I mean. Holy cow!
  5. dither's Avatar
    I've often wondered if there is anything that can be bought, something that a bloke might wear inside his trousers, but I couldn't imagine it being very comfortable. I remember many years ago, sitting in the passenger seat of a van when the driver said "here, you watch this", he switched on his windscreen washer, got windscreen wipers going, "and?" I asked.
    " I've just sprayed hat cyclist with pee". I looked down at the plastic-bottle that fed the windscreen-washer, it was half full of, yeah, you guessed it, pee. That really did happen.
  6. Kevin's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by dither
    I've often wondered if there is anything that can be bought, something that a bloke might wear inside his trousers, but I couldn't imagine it being very comfortable. I remember many years ago, sitting in the passenger seat of a van when the driver said "here, you watch this", he switched on his windscreen washer, got windscreen wipers going, "and?" I asked.
    " I've just sprayed hat cyclist with pee". I looked down at the plastic-bottle that fed the windscreen-washer, it was half full of, yeah, you guessed it, pee. That really did happen.
    sprayed him with pee? Ohh, that's not nice. Some sort of resentment built up against cyclists? Camping I've gone in a bottle. That bottle afterward... Yech. Can't imagine saving it. Guess I can... It was an old plasterer's trick to save a bottle - a pocket flask like you might take a nip from- to put on your hands as you worked (yep, pee..) in order to counter the caustic, chemical effects of the cement on your skin. Stinky...
  7. dither's Avatar
    I keep a coffee jar by my bed at all times. I almost always find myself being woken up by my bladder. I empty and wash it out with hot soapy water when I've had my sleep.
  8. Irwin's Avatar
    Soda makes me have to pee a lot. I make sure to drink iced tea instead before a show or movie out. Otherwise, I'll have to get up every hour to pee.
  9. Theglasshouse's Avatar
    Don't drink soda. It makes it easier to get kidney stones. That and it's bad for your kidney's and takes a good while to eliminate from the human body. I quit drinking that when I first got kidney stones which was 2 years ago.
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