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dither

My fading sight, a field test, and hope.

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I'm now well north of sixty and have needed glasses for quite a few years now. Yeah, so what? Big deal. I have this double vision thing going on. Not horizontal but vertical. I see two images but one below the other. When this first occurred I was told by a hospital consultant that my optician would be able to give me glasses that would, with the aid prism lenses, correct the double vision. Only they haven't, not really, and I've just got on with things.
Well? At the turn of the year I went for a routine eye-test and was referred to my GP, who then referred me to my local hospital to have my eyes checked out. I have problems, it seems, with peripheral vision, I don't see, wasn't seeing, all the images presented to me in the test on my left. Although, as far as I'm concerned, I read okay, don't feel as though is a problem.

I had the appointment at the hospital. The consultant commented as he was examining my eyes, " I can't see anything to worry about, so far so good. Have you had a field test?"
"What's that?" I ventured.
" How's your general health and well being?"
I wasn't expecting that. Was speechless.
In all my years, no-one has ever asked those three wonderful words, "how are you?". Yes I can see the relevance of such a question but...... no-one.......never......ever.
And I think I may have told an untruth. Yes, generally speaking of course, my health couldn't be better. How else could I live the life that I have? But to tell the truth, when I go to work, on a Friday night, I'm dead on my feet. I'm running on empty and from leaving home to getting the bus home in the morning, it's all about survival. "Just got to try to keep going " I coax and cajole my inner reserves. "Just gotta keep going." Get the weekend here.
"Okay. As well as can be I think." I lied.

I so want, to bring this up at a future meeting with the hospital consultant. The field test will be carried out by a nurse, who will then pass the results on to the consultant. These guys are really busy and while he doesn't have all the time in the world to hat about my general well-being, I DO need to mention how I'm feeling. I think.

Maybe, just maybe, after so many years of misery, a door could open for me. But what? Like the bird in the gilded cage. It's scary but I have to mention this for the sake of my eye-sight. Maybe, I..... oh I don't know. Depressed? Me? Maybe I really DO just need to pull myself together.

We shall see I suppose.

Many years ago, an acupuncturist asked me if I'd ever had depression. Have I ever? "No" was my reply.

THE BIG WORRY FOR ME HERE IS;

do I really want to deal with this? Okay, I'm not in a good/healthy frame of mind. Haven't been for most of my life. It's who I am. It's WHAT I am. But if it's affecting my sight although really, after all these years isn't the fact that I wear glasses little, if any, more that an age related situation?

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Updated October 5th, 2018 at 08:43 AM by dither

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  1. Winston's Avatar
    In all my years, no-one has ever asked those three wonderful words, "how are you?". Yes I can see the relevance of such a question but...... no-one.......never......ever.
    Thanks. There is a lesson there.
    Often, people wonder if they should say anything. The current 'wisdom' is to respect people's privacy. Rubbish.
    A kind word, genuine concern make us human.

    The consultant made you think about yourself. That's not selfish, that's healthy.
    In this case, your eyes really are the gateway to your soul. You deserve a look.
  2. dither's Avatar
    Winston, his asking about my general health was obviously to do with the condition of my eyes. I'd never considered that before. I really should mention it though because.... well?..... I don't...... because.
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