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Yar, I'm about to do some fly shit and probably leave the city again... the only thing is, I really have no destination this time.

I assume that I'm going to end up regretting my decision, but this is a trend that has continued for some time now. I'm always moving on to the next thing, but I always end up falling back shortly afterwards. I'm not particularly happy about the idea of packing up and starting out fresh for the umpteenth time, but I can't really think of another method of alleviation right now.

There's too much stress holding me down, too many obligations that I've set for myself, and too little to look forward to. I'm sick of life enough as it is, and I'm already on the cusp of a serious mental breakdown which will likely end in a murder spree. >>

I haven't really worked out the logistics. I've moved a LOT over the course of my life, and I've been to a lot of fucking places over the years (especially within the past four years). I'd rather not return anywhere I've been already; I'm more into the idea of traveling to some distant corner of the world than skipping states.

It's a long time coming, honestly. I'm going to be sick over the hardships that I'm inviting upon myself, but, throughout my life, most of the hardships I've endured were unavoidable.

This is me saying "LET'S GET IT ON."

I'm not sure what will happen. I'll do my best to stay in touch here and document what may be the end of my short life. >>

Later for now.

ROP out.




  1. Winston's Avatar
    I hope you find what you're looking for. Sorry for the cliché.
    You've got your on plan, but for what it's worth my sanity reclamation looks like this:

    1 Leave the source of irritation (f-ed up people)
    2 Find a quiet place to explore and order your mind,
    3 Reintroduce the sane people back to your life. and,
    4 Continue to do battle with the idiots.

    Bon Chance, mon Capitain.
  2. dither's Avatar
    Not keen on the colour-scheme but hey!

    Good luck R.O.P.
  3. Winston's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by sas
    Hope you find a deserted island. We've had enough people and children in the line of fire from those who can't get their shit together.
    I think we're all seeing metaphorical talk here. Hopefully we're not deluding ourselves.
    Regardless, sometimes it just takes one person to make a difference, either way. My kids were active in Rachel's Challenge. Let the children lead.

    So ROP, big man-hug to you. Find your way. Keep talking, I'll hear you. Peace.
  4. TuesdayEve's Avatar
    Dear ROP,
    I’m feeling a fraction of your pain with
    those red letters, and your frustration,
    disappointment, anger and delusion. I’m
    gonna be blunt... and hope you heed my
    words as a confirmation of your own
    You are running from yourself.
    Think about that a minute....from the few
    paragraphs above, you have created a
    pattern for yourself and now your ego is
    controlling your choices....don’t get mad...
    your past misery is a part of you but not
    the boss of you.
    The solution is simple but difficult....
    how much work are you willing to do to
    save your life.....
    and live with clarity of mind and unstressed
    thoughts. It is possible...
    but... you have to know,
    and really analyze yourself honestly... honesty
    always, then,
    change the things you don’t like, a conscious
    dedication, tracking yourself constantly...
    ....changing behaviors and thoughts patterns.
    Be aware of your thoughts!!!
    And change them....
    it’s simple, change your mind, literally.
    It takes time and effort and true desire to change
    ....but it can be done!
    You’ve got you’re work cut out for’re
    smart and smartly.
    la fin
  5. Kevin's Avatar
    You post a series of entries that are shitty situation, sometimes self-destructive , and depressive. People offer you various advice- some sympathetic I feel your pain- others not coddling get you self together. Now your latest is blood red on black post including a line about going postal. What are we to think? Some will take you serious and why not in this time? Probly you won't do nuthin but wtf!? You come back with Angry fucken reply. You you you starts all of this in case you didn't notice. W r u going to do? No one but you knows. And btw, no one wishes ill.
  6. dither's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by sas
    I don't hate. You do. Those who hate themselves inveritably hate others, blame others (easy answer for their failures) .
    That could apply to me although I don't see myself going on a murder spree any time soon. I'm more inclined to crawl into a hole and stay there.
  7. dither's Avatar


    Now come on you guys. Back off eh?
  8. RhythmOvPain's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by dither
    That could apply to me although I don't see myself going on a murder spree any time soon. I'm more inclined to crawl into a hole and stay there.
    I really have a lot of respect for you, dither, and I'm always glad to hear your insight on a situation or read your replies. Thanks for being such an honest person.

    I'm sorry you have to be subjected to this much retardation.
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