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Revised poem....

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In the dark night.

Darkness, with another close.
Absent love, my feelings froze.

You left, vanished, in deep night.
Heavy crystals falling from tried eyes,
hidden gems of silver moonlight.
No-more of dreams safe retreat,
now it's the only place we meet.

Time suspended, shadows shift.
As from my lips, the truth will lift.

Whispers uttered in the dark,
break upon this lonely heart,
I stumble through abandoned park,
To stand at top of gallow's hill.

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  1. kaminoshiyo's Avatar
    Haunting, H. I liked the first two lines and the last verses the most.

    I'm not sure if the middle passage needs work. I had trouble reading it, but I have trouble reading poetry without a definite rhyme scheme to it so wasn't sure if it was just me. Either way, the poems message came through.
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