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Olly Buckle

Rat attack.

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There have been rats, they recur periodically around the food sources; the compost bins and aviary; aviary wire keeps them out. I have a platform built of pallets I have covered with aviary wire using a staple gun. The plastic bins sit on top of it and present a rounded surface that is impervious to rats. Ventilation, drainage ,and protection. From time to time there is a system failure; some pallet wood becomes rotten and sinks, or the little door they put on the front of the bin distorts a bit. Rats quickly discover these things, but presently the problem is in the aviary.

This is a large volume to contain, Khali is a large bird and deserves a bit of space. One might think that she would be sufficient deterrent, but judging by her reactions when she is out on the fist, her natural prey is toddlers and ginger tom cats. I donít think she is interested in small stuff like rats. There is a wire roof over the three quarters that is not her shelter. The wire extends down over the trellis that sits on top of the fence panels making the back and sides. I have wired the bottom nine inches of them to meet the breeze blocks, half buried in the ground, which they sit on. The front is wire to the ground.

A tunnel exit has appeared some three feet into the aviary, damn!

My impulsive partner, who found it, rammed it full of stones, a shame the enemy knows we are aware of his presence, but he will not realise a skirmish with pickets has alerted the as yet silent trumpets.

I am resisting calls to impulsive action, whilst I probe the enemy gently. I am seeking different fronts to engage him. I am finding places where the ground lies undisturbed, suitable for ambush. I am establishing safe zones, where he is lulled by quiet and a little food. I am planting casual obstacles which direct his route along well trodden paths. I am mustering resources all the while. I am placing my technology where it will become a familiar object of contempt. I am planning a co-ordinated assault to engage all units simultaneously. I aim for total annihilation of all that have found foothold within our boundaries; a Carthage, a Delphi, a Jerusalem.

The dark forces lurking beyond the Rhine ultimately overwhelm, even a Marcus Aurelius can only push them back, but within the area under my dominion, inside the garden fence, some sort of order will prevail for as long as I have strength and will, and my wealth and tribute will not be stolen by barbarian outsiders.

Real men take vermin seriously; you want to hear me on pigeons! Aerial warfare!

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  1. escorial's Avatar
    top hats need to be sorted....council put crap poison down,private firms give you the spiel but never get rid of them....if they don't move on you have to club them.....run up walls,under tiny gaps one scary animal.....we were lucky and the went...i chased one to the garden shed and was so glad it got away...
  2. Plasticweld's Avatar
    As any country boy... I shot rats at the dump on Sundays. It may have been a perverse thought, but what better way then to spend the Lord's Day.
  3. H.Brown's Avatar
    Urg Rats at one place I worked a massive rat got inside, it was so big that they had to put a brick on top of tbe bucket until pest control could come out. They are enough to give nightmares.
  4. Kevin's Avatar
    Khali is an osprey? Or some other type of sea eagle? Can't put out poison here. The neighbor's Harris Hawks might get poisoned. We shoot, but it's ineffective. Traps are better, and eliminating food sources. I'm sure you know all this-
  5. BlondeAverageReader's Avatar
    I also had a rat attack, so got my kill trap out. The only thing I caught though was 3" of it's tail. As an animal loving softy this appalled me. Daft l will admit, but l wanted the whole rat dead not just a bit of it. Trap now collecting dust. Any reasonable offers excepted!
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