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A Creative Spirit in Portugal

Friends and Politics

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Living in an expat bubble is difficult enough as you try to rise above people's petty grievances, perceived hurts and playground fallouts (aka bitchfests) , but add politics to the mix, namely Brexit, and friendships become toxic.

Today we went to lunch with some previously dear friends. I say previously because thanks to Brexit and our life-changing difference of opinion, it seems to have created an invisible wall between us and our once happy-go-lucky banter became forced and uneasy. Lunch, although delicious, was soured by the underlying current each waiting for the other to bring to a head the whole Brexit situation, yet both parties aware if you want a scab to heal you don't pick it.
But equally if the scab has turned septic you need to release the puss festering below and address the poison within. Neither party had the courage. Maybe in years to come there will be 'I told you so' neutral vote and each will bury their pride.

I feel saddened by this but it comes as no surprise such is the gravity and uncertainty behind the 'Leave' vote. Raises glass to past friendships as we move on to new.

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  1. escorial's Avatar
    most don't like change PiP...and often a situation like this may fall down to who feels they will gain and lose...all you can do is stay focused and steadfast in your opinion and just get on with your life..at the end of the day..people are just weird...stay safe PiP
  2. Smith's Avatar
    It's a shame that a disagreement had to spoil the friendship. Some people don't want to have, or don't know how to have, an open-minded discussion about things. They just like hearing themselves talk, want other people to listen and follow, and if you don't well "So long!"

    Best wishes.
  3. PiP's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by escorial
    most don't like change PiP...and often a situation like this may fall down to who feels they will gain and lose...all you can do is stay focused and steadfast in your opinion and just get on with your life..at the end of the day..people are just weird...stay safe PiP
    Thanks, esc. Trouble is getting on with my life ain't gonna be that easy if we leave Europe. My daughter lives in France and she is already being subjected to the go home migrants and take your stupid island mentality with you, you are not welcome here, attitude.

    The us and them campaign has already started.
  4. escorial's Avatar
    when your in the thick of it ...it can't be easy for you just now....stay safe PIP
  5. PiP's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Smith
    It's a shame that a disagreement had to spoil the friendship. Some people don't want to have, or don't know how to have, an open-minded discussion about things. They just like hearing themselves talk, want other people to listen and follow, and if you don't well "So long!"

    Best wishes.
    Unfortunately, Smith, this is more than a disagreement - more of a complete lifestyle change with a negative impact for millions of people. This is a good reason why you should never discuss politics and religion with close friends.
  6. Smith's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by PiP
    Unfortunately, Smith, this is more than a disagreement - more of a complete lifestyle change with a negative impact for millions of people. This is a good reason why you should never discuss politics and religion with close friends.
    I've always discussed politics and religion with my friends, and we often disagree, so I suppose I'm just very fortunate to be friends with individuals who are open-minded, accepting, and compromising.

    You are right though that the word "disagreement" doesn't do it justice. I admittedly don't know a lot about Brexit; you're understanding would definitely exceed mine, especially considering you are directly affected by it, although many people see Brexit as a good thing. And so that being said, I wish you the best of luck, and that hopefully you won't be negatively impacted by it!
  7. Greyson's Avatar
    Everyone had an opinion once, and we all thought it quite special. But then, for some reason (perhaps the internet, or the re-rise of demagogues?) we figured that just having opinions on many things was not good enough. So now everyone seems to have to take a hard-lined opinion on a topic, no matter how little they know or how much their opponent may know.

    I am really sorry that a wall ended up being erected, that's no way to solve an issue as you said. But, perhaps distance and time is what you really need. Perhaps you were already drifting and the conversations -- while not so "forced' or "uneasy" as this most recent one -- were already becoming burdensome to have. I wish that whatever you or your friends voted did not matter in how a relationship progresses, but unfortunately perfect circles don't exist and neither do all my wishes and wants. You're no worse for you opinions than I am, and I know people will learn to respect that eventually.

    Best wishes to you, stay strong.
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