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The hobgoblin of a small mind

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Situated in a dark little crawl space in my head, lurks a volatile creature, a hobgoblin, a spewer of nasty thoughts and criticisms, whose utterances have the power to corrupt my mind with tiny seeds of pessimism; it transforms all my best efforts into gaping pits of insecurity. It taunts me with my failures and shortcomings and lifts up the mirror which reflects all the worst aspects of my character. Its hard to tame the thing. Its both clever and relentless. Poking and prodding at my psyche. It intrudes most violently when I’m alone, like today, when its voice reverberates with haunting clarity.
Times like these I need solitude. Its a space I consider sacred and fertile ground for growth and self-discovery. Although, when I attempt to solve these issues with my mind alone, I find I don’t get very far; I end up soaking in the marinade of my negativity.
Writing helps the most. The more I write, the more I am able to reason myself out of heavily emotive or distressing states. It helps sow the seeds of understanding.
I’ve learned that it is healthy to know these places intimately, to familiarize yourself with the feelings of sadness or emptiness. To be with them. They are an important feature in the landscape of the human experience. As the saying goes “you will never appreciate the peaks, until you’ve spent some time trudging through the valleys”… or some shit.

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