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Strange preface for a satirical book

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Quote Originally Posted by rogerblingham View Post
“That is serious load of bullshit!” exclaimed my friend after reviewing the manuscript.

“Serious and bullshit? How about spreading it far and wide by publishing?” I questioned back.

He said “Do not publish. It can pose hazard for your health. People might read it with curiosity. No one is going to like this bullshit! I felt bad when it exploded on my face many a times while reading this manuscript. You will be trolled high time!”

That is the precise reason why I am going ahead and unloading this bullshit in front of you. When selling bullshit emotions labeled with words ‘like’, ‘dislike’ and ‘shame’ should be taken out of your mental online dictionary. You will not like my advice. So, you are welcome to troll me.

I have to prove my friend wrong! Not about explosion, but about liking. Bullshit!

Bullshit is in great demand right now. I am the only person who knows about the small details about it. Let me tell the world what I know! It is an absolute appreciation of bullshit and its capability. However, at times appreciation also looks like you are having a fight against!

If you are on these pages by accident, let me tell you why you should not read this book. There is no mistake in the previous sentence and I mean it. Not is an extremely important word. The reasons are very simple and almost obvious. For many people in this world obvious is a mystery. That is why let me state the reasons.

You should not read this book because there is one important reason. It contains my opinions. All those opinions are a big load of stinking bullshit. Those opinions are contradictory to your opinions and at times diametrically opposite of yours. Even when they are true, I do not like contradictory opinions of others being forced on me. In fact, I hate them. I expect the same from you too.

I know. A big load of bullshit exploding on someone else’s face causes you to laugh. I want to explode something on your face. You are a customer of mine. Even when bullshit is being sold knowingly, laughing at customer’s discomfort counts as bad practice. So, I won’t laugh. As such, a hearty laugh is prohibited in the place where you live. If you laugh openly, chances of suspecting you go sky high. Be careful and do not laugh when reading this book. Instead, you should flame and troll me. That is the right approach to solve all kinds of problems and make the world an interesting place. That is the most civilized and educated behavior.

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