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A lot of folks here have suffered from depression, myself included - and I always try to be encouraging in my comments. Sometimes, though, I don't practice what I preach. Comes from being human, I'll admit. Like recently, coming down with sinusitis (or as I like to call it, the creeping crud) at times I feel the waves of hopelessness and uselessness cover me like a rotted blanket.

Despite medicine, or maybe because of it, I start hating myself and my life again. Like I've often told myself, my life is my own fault. It's hard to get past the truth. For someone who considers himself reasonably intelligent, I've made some really stupid mistakes.

The good news here is I'm always able to get over it and feel okay again. Writing helps a lot, even some of my darker stuff - and so does activity. You lay around a lot, it's easy to think bad thoughts.

So, even though I want to just go lay down, I'll try to do something useful, even if it's just loading the dishwasher.

My thoughts go out to all of you, and I hope this helps someone.

Hope everyone has a great day.


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  1. dither's Avatar
    your life is no-one's "fault".
    Certainly not your's.
    Life isn't planned, it just happens. Everything random.
    We are what we are and we can't change.
    I wish i could change mine but i can't.
    The only thing that might ease my situation would be money, a pile of it.

    And before anyone scoffs, all i ever wanted was to just run away and hide. Dig myself a hole somewhere and disappear. You can't do that without money, serious money.
  2. escorial's Avatar
    midnight i would really like to read more about your perspective on the said subject..tuff stuff but i found it really insightful....
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