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TheWonderingNovice

Difficulty Curving a Bad Habit.

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I started cursing a the age of nine. Yes I know, I was too young and I should be ashamed. In retrospect, I should've been. Like most children I wanted to show that I knew things when I did not. You know, like most adults do - old habits die hard, eh? I only used that kind of language around friends and school never around my parents. They were very fond of spanking as a means of child rearing. Ah good times, good times.

At first it was just a means of rebelling against the good girl persona imposed on me but now it's an integral part of my vocabulary. When I get frustrated it's how I vent. Sometimes I do it with out realizing it.

It hadn't bothered me until two nights ago when I heard my three year old cousin say "dammit".

We were trying to wrangle our dog into his pen so that I could cook without the fear of him running out the door. Chasing an eight month old pup is quite the hassle. I let out a few words that I'm not proud of and she overheard them.

She dance around the living room saying it again and again while I pleaded with her. Only negotiation doesn't work on three year olds. I was mortified.

This is not the impact I want to have on children. This is not what I want to pass on. I don't want to be remembered as the girl with the sailor mouth.

In the past, I tried to take the Ned Flanders approach but it was too ridiculous. I even tried going through Lent without cursing only to fail a week into it.

I realize that I have to do something about this but I'm not sure what to do. I thought I was careful in trying not to curse around her but I guess I wasn't careful enough.

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  1. Crowley K. Jarvis's Avatar
    Then it's a coping method. A away of release.

    Delightful ways our mind develops for coping with the stresses we have.

    Simply cursing isn't the problem. It's the negative thoughts and emotions, and your way of releasing them.

    There are many more healthy ways to reduce stress over the long term.

    But, for those flares when you just want to strangle a baby, sadly there is no magic way, besides willpower.

    But I don't want to sound preachy.

    I struggle with anger, and the resulting language. It can be as much a part of your personality as how you breathe. Difficult to change, but not impossible.
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