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wainscottbl

So, came on too strong? We'll see today/tomorrow

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Well, the friend I may have come on too strong. I stupidly showed her the video with the ecstatic seizure episode, and the sonnet at the end was about her. Well, it may not have even been that obvious it was about her (her name was not mentioned), but I panicked and wrote a second email explaining, somewhat unclearly, I think, that it wasn't, though I could not bring myself to lie. I was circumspect, and may have not been circumspect enough. I am worried it all may come off as creepy or forward. I should not have shown the video. But she was saying how bad it is for me to be sick, but that epilepsy is a cool disease because of the link with artistic creation. So I showed her the video. And then panicked, likely when I should have just let it all be. I tried to explain that it was not about love in the romantic sense (eros), but about the love in the sense of friendship (philia). Though I still tried to play it off that it was not her through the lawyer argument where you do not lie, but create the idea that it is not true. I said that I was worried she might think it was about her because is said "beloved friend of our Academy", and we are in our online class together. I was fond of her and charmed by her the first time she spoke, not having even seen her face. More and more she charmed me, but I did not see her face until sometime ago. Then it was from three years ago, so she was about 14. Too young. But now she is 17 and blooming. I think she knows I am fond of her. She may even like me. But I am 28. She is fine with being friends with a 28 year old, but it may all be too much. I really should have kept my mouth shut. But she is good natured. We'll see. I will talk to her tomorrow and see how it goes. I really like her as a friend, and I hate to lose her so.....

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  1. Pluralized's Avatar
    You're dancing along a very fine line, and though your heart's in the right place it would be quite easy to cross that boundary into creep-her-out-until-she-runs-away-screaming. When you were 25 and she 14, the line was much blurrier, I'd say.

    But I admire your romantic outlook, even if your aim is purely to express friendship and build a connection to another human being. It's tough to imagine it somehow not getting weird/illegal/shot-gunny, but I'm from Wyoming so take that for what it's worth.

    28-year-old ladies are generally going to share your interests and relate to your situation in life -- just saying. Being around 14-17-year-olds makes me stabby.

    I realize this is just a 'friend' situation. But brace yourself.
  2. wainscottbl's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Pluralized
    You're dancing along a very fine line, and though your heart's in the right place it would be quite easy to cross that boundary into creep-her-out-until-she-runs-away-screaming. When you were 25 and she 14, the line was much blurrier, I'd say.

    But I admire your romantic outlook, even if your aim is purely to express friendship and build a connection to another human being. It's tough to imagine it somehow not getting weird/illegal/shot-gunny, but I'm from Wyoming so take that for what it's worth.

    28-year-old ladies are generally going to share your interests and relate to your situation in life -- just saying. Being around 14-17-year-olds makes me stabby.

    I realize this is just a 'friend' situation. But brace yourself.
    Well, she is 17, not 14. 14 was three years ago, so it's not borderline pedophilia. But thanks for the advice.You are right though. The age difference is the main thing. If she were nearer my age, if might be good to take it slow, but the age difference is what creates a problem. I overstepped when I was walking well. I have decided to step back. Will not even contact her for a while, and then casually do so. If she chooses to continue the emails, then fine.
  3. wainscottbl's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Pluralized
    Ybut I'm from Wyoming so take that for what it's worth.
    Ha, and she's form Wyoming, too. Ha! I've even been looking at her house of Google Maps. Yours, too. Nice place....kidding about that of course.
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