WritingForums.com - A Black Trench Coat and a Great Gal

  • A Black Trench Coat and a Great Gal

    A trench coat, black and curved, flung a mean shadow. He was stood up near a lamp post on the corner of 31st and 3rd. She was supposed to be there hours ago. Where was she? How many times could he wait before he realized there wasn't a point? Why not stroll down to the waterfront and watch the boats?

    He wished he had a sailboat. He liked to watch sailboats on the Hudson. Across was Jersey, yeah, Jersey, alter ego to New York, a fraternal twin maybe, or a ghost. He didn't care. If he had the fare, he'd go there, and maybe walk across the state on a beeline, with a compass, yeah, a straight line wherever the compass led him, whether it was thorough somebody's backyard or through their living room.

    Through their living room, like when he was a kid, when everybody left their doors open in the summertime, he would run through their houses. Why couldn't he do that now? Shucks…he would. Maybe he wouldn't. It was fun to think about it, though. There'd be a fella sittin' in front of his TV, drinkin' a beer. He'd come chooglin' through and say hi, how are ya'. Then he'd keep going out the kitchen door and on to the next house.

    But what if he came to a lake? Well, he could swim, couldn’t he? He could swim good. He didn't like to, though. He was like that real good dog he had years back. That dog could swim, but the dog wouldn't go in the water without a reason: to get from point A to point B. Ain't we all like that? A little? No? You wouldn't to like to rest more? I would.

    Yeah, but I'd swim the lake…with a waterproof compass, a brown lake with brown mud, and piers for boats. The people should have boats. If I lived on a lake, I'd have a boat. I'd live the life of a boatman, a waterman. I'd live for the lake and I'd live for the water. Women would love me for my devotion to the water. I'd catch fish and live on fish, no steak for me, no, and no pizza either, just fish, and maybe some collard greens.

    Catfish are good. I've always known that. Catfish are better than trout. Trout are prima donnas, but it's not their fault. People do that to the trout. A fish doesn't think like that. He doesn't have time. The only things trout think about are other trout and fishhooks. They know they're not catfish, but they don't think they're better than catfish. We could learn from a trout. But we won't. Why? Because we don't care, that's why. We like to think we're better. I know I do. What…you don't? So does that make you better than me? I think not.

    I would have a sailboat. No fool tank for me. When the wind don't blow, I don't go. Plenty of time to rest. Rest does a body good. Folks have forgotten. Rest is the best for losing weight. You didn't know that? Stay in bed. The world would be a happier place if women stayed in bed. They wouldn't be fussin' about their weight.

    Drink a lot of water. Most people are dehydrated. It's a fact. If you drink a beer and get a headache, think about it. Drinking water prevents a body from putting on needless weight. What would be in store for us if we ate only what we need instead of everything that tastes like grease, sugar, and salt, and more than we need? The world would not be recognizable, that's what. That's how much of a difference it would make. I ain't kiddin.' There'd be fewer murders, fewer robberies, and the cops could take long vacations.

    Nope, that dog wouldn't go in the water unless she had to. But boy, she could swim. Dogs are smarter than folks. They have a higher intelligence, a keener intelligence. They don't gum it up. That's where we mess up, folks, I mean. Too much gum, in everything. It slows the thinking process. It makes us easy prey. That's why we need to kill anything we don't like, because if we didn't, it'd get us. It’ll get us anyway, and there's the rub. What's the point of trying? That's why I was saying we oughta' rest more. ¿Saben lo que estoy diciendo? I think you do. Well whadda ya' know, there she is. He always did like that gal. Guess she likes him too, after all…a little, anyway.
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