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  1. Neetu's Avatar
    Thanks, Irwin. I’ve been fortunate that I have called America home for over 2 decades and not been directly targeted in the way I was this time. But I’ve seen it happen to others and known undercurrents of it. And there are such people, highly educated even, right here in the forum, but I do what you say— stay away from them.
    it hurts to be treated this way and I’m sorry you have been brushed by it.
  2. Irwin's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Neetu
    Irwin, as a non-white, I have a particularly sensitive lens to the mentality you have referenced, and while I have seldom encountered it openly, I did so very recently. It violated everything in me; it angered me, humiliated me and shook me up in a way I hadn’t thought was possible. And I told only one friend of mine about my experience, a white male friend, who more or less laughed it off because I had been bold enough to retort back to the white woman who attacked me, but I realized it could t feel to him how it felt to me.
    I'm sorry that happened to you, Neetu. Some people seem to need to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. They're miserable, bitter, hate-filled, xenophobic losers who never accomplished anything in life other than maybe serving in the military where they were given the right to kill exotic people. Imagine how happy the murderers must have been to live out their dreams and fantasies! And it made them feel like true "patriots" even though they're nothing like our Founding Fathers. They have more in common with the Loyalists from the Revolutionary War period. Our country was founded on progressive principles and by immigrants who rebelled against the Dark Ages--not by a backward conservatives.

    It hurts when you're put down for something over which you have no control, such as your heritage or race. I'm not Christian, and some say I'm not white, and when I see my people targeted, I wish that there was something I could do to help. But, alas, I live in the liberal, gay governor, Bernie supporting state of Colorado, where it's perfectly legal to smoke a joint in public! Even here, there are hate groups. Less than 30 years ago, this was a redneck "cowtown," and the rednecks haven't moved; they've just aged.

    The best way to deal with backward people is to avoid them when possible and to rely on your friends. They're the people who are important in this world and make life worth living. And the wankers (to use a British term) have their value, too. They give us stuff to write about.
  3. dither's Avatar
    Sorry to read of your experience Neetu. When I go out I'm like a church-mouse scurrying about the periphery, skirting the edges of my very existence, and I hurry back to my home base asap. I avoid contact with people. When I HAVE to interact I'm courtesy and politeness personified, and, ironically in trying to go un-noticed, courtesy and politeness seems to get noticed, often making me feel quite un-comfortable.

    As for changes, the world's one total screw-up, ain't gonna happen.
  4. Neetu's Avatar
    Dither, lenses come in varying forms, strength/power and degrees. We will always see the world through our own, the influences that have shaped them, and by extension, us.
    Irwin, as a non-white, I have a particularly sensitive lens to the mentality you have referenced, and while I have seldom encountered it openly, I did so very recently. It violated everything in me; it angered me, humiliated me and shook me up in a way I hadn’t thought was possible. And I told only one friend of mine about my experience, a white male friend, who more or less laughed it off because I had been bold enough to retort back to the white woman who attacked me, but I realized it could t feel to him how it felt to me.
    Later, actually a couple of days ago, I was able to tell two of my closest white female friends, and their response was instantly protective of me and intensely critical of the woman who had tried to degrade me. It all comes down to a view of the world and how sensitive we are to others.
    Ignorance is the root of such evil, and sadly,I don’t see change coming.

    Quote Originally Posted by dither
    Neetu
  5. dither's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Neetu
    Hey dither, can I, or may I try your lens????
    Neetu
  6. Neetu's Avatar
    Hey dither, can I, or may I try your lens????

    Quote Originally Posted by dither
    Damn! Neetu, you got me wondering about MY.....lens, and maybe I'M ...... hyper.
  7. dither's Avatar
    Damn! Neetu, you got me wondering about MY.....lens, and maybe I'M ...... hyper.
  8. clark's Avatar
    IRWIN -- you are wise to "refuse to be sociable" with a person who has blueprinted a reality of hate for themselves and undoubtedly intends to follow it, so any more expansive ideas you might plant would fall on fallow ground. Just be a waste of time.
  9. Irwin's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by clark
    Irwin -- Your post seems one of Discovery: good grief! There are a lot of assholes in the world! Indeed there are. There are also a lot of good, decent, caring people in the world. Have you asked yourself why most of the people you interact with seem to be assholes? A corollary of that: what criteria do you exact on the people you interact with to determine where they land on the asshole scale? Does THAT require some tweaking? Are you actively looking for The Good in people. Or are you hypersensitive to The Bad? Quick to judge? I am not criticizing your perspective on the world. I am just throwing out a few questions which, if pursued, might cheer your days a bit.
    Yeah, I agree that most people are decent. It's just my white supremacist neighbor who won't leave me alone. I hate to be rude to him, but his ilk has caused so much harm in the world that I refuse to be sociable with him or anyone like him.
  10. Neetu's Avatar
    Good point, Irwin. I steer away from such people too. When you know youíre dealing with closed minds, whatís the point? were just wasting our time. And it seems like thereís a lot of people were wasting our time with these days. Thatís probably why I donít feel like communicating much at all!

    Quote Originally Posted by Irwin
    That's true, Neetu. White supremacists, for example, can be the nicest people to their friends and relatives. I knew a bunch of them in my younger days. Which leads to the age old question: If an asshole is nice to some people, is he or she no longer an asshole?

    It's like the Golden Rule to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. A lot of people believe that if they do some nice deeds, that wipes out all the evil that they also do.

    I prefer the negative ethic of reciprocity: What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. In other words, don't be an asshole. If you do good things for others, that's great, but above all else, don't do bad things.

    People will come up with all sorts of excuses to be an asshole, which is why I "steer away" from most of them, but some of them force themselves on you and won't let you avoid them, in which case it seems like you're intentionally causing them distress, when in reality, your intention is to just not have anything to do with them.
  11. clark's Avatar
    Irwin -- Your post seems one of Discovery: good grief! There are a lot of assholes in the world! Indeed there are. There are also a lot of good, decent, caring people in the world. Have you asked yourself why most of the people you interact with seem to be assholes? A corollary of that: what criteria do you exact on the people you interact with to determine where they land on the asshole scale? Does THAT require some tweaking? Are you actively looking for The Good in people. Or are you hypersensitive to The Bad? Quick to judge? I am not criticizing your perspective on the world. I am just throwing out a few questions which, if pursued, might cheer your days a bit.
  12. clark's Avatar
    Irwin -- Your post seems one of Discovery: good grief! There are a lot of assholes in the world! Indeed there are. There are also a lot of good, decent, caring people in the world. Have you asked yourself why most of the people you medddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddk
  13. Pulse's Avatar
    Yeah. 'Do no harm' is a good principle to live by if you can. Some people even work on 'random acts of kindness', but you may not want to be a virtuoso.

    Sounds like you are trying to protect yourself against people who offend you. Alcohol only works for a short timespan, so YuuTube is currently in favour.

    Arseholes get a wide berth.

    Anything we can do for you here?
  14. Irwin's Avatar
    That's true, Neetu. White supremacists, for example, can be the nicest people to their friends and relatives. I knew a bunch of them in my younger days. Which leads to the age old question: If an asshole is nice to some people, is he or she no longer an asshole?

    It's like the Golden Rule to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. A lot of people believe that if they do some nice deeds, that wipes out all the evil that they also do.

    I prefer the negative ethic of reciprocity: What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. In other words, don't be an asshole. If you do good things for others, that's great, but above all else, don't do bad things.

    People will come up with all sorts of excuses to be an asshole, which is why I "steer away" from most of them, but some of them force themselves on you and won't let you avoid them, in which case it seems like you're intentionally causing them distress, when in reality, your intention is to just not have anything to do with them.
  15. Neetu's Avatar
    Not sure what exactly you’re venting about, Irwin. Is it age, older women, Coronavirus, or something else?
    Ah, yes, difficult people! But doesn't it depend on our own lens how we see "difficult"? And if someone is "difficult", it's best to steer away. Someone may be difficult for one individual but not for another!
    Updated March 13th, 2020 at 03:00 AM by Neetu
  16. dither's Avatar
    Irwin,
    I often wish that I could wear some kind of face mask so that no one would see my face, but then, I've often thought about wearing a wire to give the impression that I couldn't hear people talking to me.

    If I had MY preference............
  17. -xXx-'s Avatar
  18. dither's Avatar
    "We can't just sit by and watch it happen. "

    Oh but we are, we do, and we shall. It's the way of the world Irwin and it's a shame. My only hope is that the world will outlive me and it could be a close run thing I reckon.
  19. -xXx-'s Avatar
    i love this!!!!

    *stares at same*
  20. Irwin's Avatar
    If his re-election is for the good of the country, it's not an impeachable offense...

    ... is the latest crazy defense.
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