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am_hammy

  1. Sometimes...

    I wish I could tell people off and give them a few choice words.

    But that wouldn't be very nice now, would it?

    Instead I shall eat my toast and enjoy my Monday. They only come once a week, after all.
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  2. Spring came, but did I come with it?

    It's been a long time since I've really sat down and wrote a story, or a poem that had actually had meaning, and that I wanted to write, not just because I felt like I had to. I'm not sure I'm quite there yet, but I can feel the itch.

    All of 2016 was so difficult for me. My job ripped me apart, my anxiety was unbearable, and I let it seep in to every aspect of my life. My relationships, work, my free time, the forum, everything.

    I finally said no one day and applied for ...
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  3. Waiting for spring.

    IMG_5959.jpg


    A thought occured to me, that I seem to look at my creativity like it is a dead tree with no leaves, no fruit, just empty lifeless branches with nothing to show for the life and growth it can have.

    My creativity is stuck in winter. A tree with roots, but the roots can't seem to suck anything up to bring it back to its natural flow, to be beautiful again.

    Now there is something to be said of winter, to shed all that is old ...
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  4. Bits of Life - Being an adult is hard

    I feel like I need to say nothing more. My title explains it all.

    But I always have words, so I will say a few sentences.

    I am sad.

    I am tired.

    I am anxious.

    But I enjoy my coffee.

    I enjoy waking up in my bed because I know I am safe.

    However, I keep getting bills in the mail for medical things, and I don't understand why I'm getting charged more than what my plan says I should. Thanks, job, for your outstanding ...
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  5. Bits of Life- Work Sucks

    Today was rough. Exchanged words with my manager. She got really mad at me. We spoke for over an hour about a lot of things.

    I'm tired of my job and constantly defending myself. I feel broken at my job. Don't worry I'm taking steps to leave, but damn work sucks.

    The whole situation has left me completely drained. I'm not sure what else to do anymore about it. What's even worse is that one of the things that stuck with me is that she said she doesn't know what else she can ...
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  6. Poetry?

    Whether you want to call this poetry, or if it's deemed poetry is entirely up to you and up the rules of the poetic game.

    Personally I don't care if it is or isn't. I just miss writing like this. So I'm going to call it an ashley-poem. My own rules. Trying to wrestle with how I've been feeling this weekend on account of work, and this is what came out. It's not good enough to be critiqued on the boards so I figured that I'd do it here. =) I have no titles, because I suck at coming up ...
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  7. Life - Bits and Snippets

    So I'm on my fancy iMac at the moment. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. It's quite foreign to me as I've been a PC user forever and a day. I still have my Sony, but man this is nice to sit at a desktop computer and I've always loved mac keyboards. There's a wonderful feeling to the keys and how they feel and sound when you press down on them.


    Just wanted to shout out some thoughts into the WF community. I've been quiet on here for awhile now. Behind the scenes I'm a bit ...
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  8. I'm at the point

    Where it's like, I want to say stuff and I feel like I have stuff to say but nothing is coming out. I'm in an emotional limbo and I don't quite know how to feel.
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  9. Resting Easy

    This will be a short one but I figured since I'm just sitting here, I'm going to talk about just that. Sitting here.

    I can't remember the last time I truly just decided to sit down and just let the mood take me when it strikes. Usually I try to create plans for myself and when I do, I feel like I build up all these things I want to do then just get stressed out and never do them.

    So today, yes, I have things I've planned to do today, but I also decided to sit. I decided ...
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  10. Life - My one year WF anniversary

    I'm cutting it close, but it's still January 30th for me and it marks one year of me being a part of this wonderful place. It's trippy thinking back on where I was last year and how quickly time went. This day seemed so far away. I didn't even realize it was approaching until yesterday and I thought "Holy crap, it's been a year"

    I will say I know that in the last year you guys have helped shape me into who I am in this moment. The advice, the creative freedom, the special ...
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  11. Lack of creativity

    This will be short, most likely. Who knows though? It might turn into brilliance.

    I doubt that.

    I really haven't written anything in awhile. My creative flow to tell a story or a poem that's deeper than what I've been writing.

    I like what I have written lately on the forum (which really hasn't been a lot) but I've been looking at my old poetry and I miss being deeper when I write. I don't know if it's because I'm too tired emotionally to get anything out, or ...
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  12. Life - Bits of depression and everything that follows (some language)

    This is a bit of a vent. I'd also like to say that I am okay right now, but I still need to get stuff out. Get it out so I can move past it all and actually live life like I'm supposed to. I want to share because it helps me and I hope it helps others in some small way. It's jumbled, messy, and I hop around to different moments but it helps. There are plenty of gaps I will leave to be filled, but it's something for now at least.

    Lately I've been feeling very depressed. I find I have ...
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  13. Life - Bits of where I'm at right now.

    Feels like it's been forever since I made a blog post.


    Every time I sit down to write one, I always get distracted or just lose my motivation to get my thoughts out. There are so many things I want to talk about, but I will only touch on two topics.


    First topic is food, and my weight. PiP has recently talked and blogged about her own struggle, so I've been motivated to talk a little bit about mine. I've wanted to talk about it, but would always shy away every ...
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  14. A book, an old friend, and laughter

    So, for the last couple days I've been in better spirits than I usually am. Without thinking too much about it, I'm trying to ride that wave until it dies out. It will be nice because I will have something to look back on more recently when I start to have my bad days again. Not to be pessimistic, but I just think I'm being realistic. It will better prepare me for those days. It will help me remember how to breathe again.

    Since I've had a good day or two, one thing I've decided is ...
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  15. Catharsis


    DISCLAIMER:
    This post is a little long and somewhat scattered(maybe even a little confusing, so apologies for that part. also apologies for any grammatical or spelling errors, etc.). I figure if there's a safe place for this to be read where I know no one has to respond and completely ignore this (or read and just empathize), this is the place for it. This is just my mind. It's when my writing becomes my catharsis. It feels like a physical draining of everything that gets bottled up inside ...

    Updated February 14th, 2015 at 05:40 AM by am_hammy

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  16. Midnight Musings. 12:00

    This is going to be a prologue/a little bit about my strange brain and what I'm going to attempt to accomplish with these blogs. Including the fact that there might be copious amounts of run-ons, comma splices and other grammatical errors that might make you cringe. Bare with me. I'm in self-discovery mode and this is my mind we're talking about here, heh (it's a bit much at times lol).

    Before I begin, I just want to say that I've wanted to blog for the longest time. This is such a ...
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