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  1. Dentist hell:

    I've had a good run i suppose but the time is drawing near. A couple of teeth that are causing serious grief right now can only get worse. Next week, next month, next year , there can be only one outcome, my seeking out and submitting to a dentist chair. Oh god, there! i've said it.

    Why are current dentist methods so "not negotiable/carved in stone"? Why can't we talk?

    Me being me, there will probably be a running commentary through the process of plastic replacing ...
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  2. Night-worker...

    I was going to head this " night-worker hell " but in spite the lousy conditions, working outside in all weathers, i really don't mind working nights. It's the week-end that causes the most problems. How to adjust to some semblance of normality for just two days. Now that can ​be, a bitch. By the time six am arrives on a Saturday morning i'm just about done but there's still a long way to go before i can acknowledge that it is weekend.
    Having clocked out and passed through ...
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  3. I just got old i guess.

    Time and inclination, what happened to them? What happened to me? Seems so long ago now. The days when i enjoyed, looked forward to even, my weekend jaunts to Barkton and Stugely. Visiting libraries, discovering celebrating and noting the whereabouts of public toilets that don't charge the princely sum of twenty pee just have, well, a pee. Exploring town centers and streets, places that i've known all my life as if i were seeing them anew, with relish. Seeking out and occasionally finding ...
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  4. Once upon a lifetime...

    When the flesh is weak and the mind? well? Not quite so weak.
    Sometimes, in the silent stillness of a quiet Sunday afternoon spent alone at home, after another week of workplace hell, it seems as though i feel the passing of every moment. Think grains of sand slipping through fingers.
    Being alone is not an issue for me. Yes i get lonely sometimes but i don't have to be alone. It is what it is.
    Thoughts move slowly, unlike the mental ticker-tape of yesteryear, through an ageing ...
    Tags: dithering
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  5. I do hope that she's okay.

    All i know of her is that she is twenty six years old, she's not diabetic, and she wasn't pregnant. It was around seven-forty and the darkness of night was approaching. A young woman with whom i was vaguely acquainted was saying her goodbyes at a house doorway called to me as i approached the house.
    " You're going into town aren't you, on your way to work. Mind if i walk with you? "
    " Yeah sure, i don't mind." Why not ? I thought.
    She joined me and we headed ...

    Updated September 18th, 2016 at 06:10 PM by dither

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  6. Cider with an Irn Bru top.

    What a day;

    This place, this town, my town. Jinxed cursed or what? A "Carnival Committee" strives to preserve an age old tradition and it hangs on, just. All through August and into September, with the very odd grey-day and some rain, the weather had been glorious. The Carnival time and date had been set for 2.00. pm. Saturday September the 3rd. Seemed reasonable but you can't pre- arrange the weather and yes, the rains came, it lashed down.
    The day had started dry ...

    Updated September 10th, 2016 at 07:02 PM by dither

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  7. Who cares?

    Trying so hard, and so wanting, to make something out of nothing, silk purse sow's ear comes to mind, y'know? But really, who cares? Okay, so i dragged my sorry self-pitying arse out of the sack ( and that's not a million miles from the truth actually ) sometime after first light this morning, there was no pressing need or desire to do anything or go anywhere and so, i put the kettle on and made myself a strong one, but really, who cares?
    Just one look out of the kitchen window confirmed that ...

    Updated August 29th, 2016 at 06:32 PM by dither

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  8. Cheap cider and doing something nice,

    Actually the cider wasn't so cheap. And the nice thing? Well? It wasn't exactly life changing but it did give me a modicum of pleasure. Okay! So i'm "on the box" ( certified unfit for work ) right now. I will have been quite sometime without income, and maybe i shouldn't be wasting money on drink but one brown plastic 2ltr bottle every now and then isn't going to bring the dither empire to it's knees ( fingers crossed ) and i refuse to feel bad about it.
    It had been a couple of ...

    Updated August 19th, 2016 at 05:00 PM by dither

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  9. Amazing scene in Barkton;

    I'm trying to pluck up the courage to return to A&E, worried about my arm. Couldn't believe how busy that place get's and by 5.00.pm i'd had enough, gave up and headed back to the bus-terminal via morrison's for some cheap booze and a lotto ticket. Please! If any super being not of this world happened to see me.I'm not asking for millions.

    Well, anyway, as i arrived at the bus stop i could see a bunch of young lads, teenagers i'd say, congregating with their backs to the front of ...

    Updated August 13th, 2016 at 10:02 AM by dither

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  10. The straw that broke this Camel's back;

    Smith's blog has prompted this. Sorry Smith. Who know's maybe somebody somewhere ​might see it as drifts off into the great unknown.

    I've been carrying too much for too long and this broken arm business, and it's no big deal , although i AM worried right now, has brought me to the brink. I need to talk to a doctor or somebody, but how much can patient and doctor say in the allotted ten minute time-slot? I could use an hour.

    A doctor might be willing to refer me and ...

    Updated September 25th, 2016 at 08:32 AM by dither

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  11. Hospital without the hubbub;

    Friday August 5th. My next Hospital appointment. The day i got un-plastered. I'd been counting the days, the hours even. And as for all that talk about physio, yeah whatever, just get this damned thing off eh? Let me have my arm back.
    So, i got up bright and early, took care of my ablutions and went up town to buy a newspaper. It would help to pass some of the waiting time. I had booked my cab way too early, as is my wont, Mr. Punctuality, that's me, and when i got there, it might easily have ...
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  12. Off topic topic,

    Posted in Greyson's blog by bdcharles.


    I'm the same. When people first meet me everything's great. Then they get to know me and my shine wears off (in my head at least). The solution? Practise - and maintain - an air of mystery and distance, so that people will fall over themselves trying to discover "the real you"; and if you hold it just out of reach (the best place for it) the excitement never wanes. It works both ways - Hemingway drank to make other people more
    ...

    Updated July 29th, 2016 at 01:48 PM by dither

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  13. Cold-callers...


    ARGH!!!

    The wife came and told me that there was somebody at the door wanting to talk to me about our Gas and Electricity supplier and boy was i up for it. The conversation went thus;

    " Good afternoon sir, i've come to tell that you could save money on your energy costs by switching."
    " We don't do beggin mate sorry. "
    " I'm not begging sir. "
    It's begging.
    " Look! yes we could probably save a few quid but ...
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  14. Hospital hubbub;

    I'M SORRY.

    IT IS A BIT LONG AND THERE ARE EXPLETIVES.

    Well, i was going to call this " crunch day". An appointment with a consultant to assess the damage day. But crunch-day was last week. Today was all about putting Humpty back together again and how.

    My appointment time was 10.20. am, i got there at 9.40., because i'm like that. And already the waiting room, which is shared with A&E customers, was heaving. A digital display-screen gave out the ...

    Updated July 9th, 2016 at 11:44 AM by dither

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  15. Who do you talk to?

    When there's no one to talk to.

    I am seriously troubled by the lack of advice/info regarding depression at my local Hospital. So much so that i E-Mailed them that very question.
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  16. Dither's Hawthorns

  17. Going dry this weekend, and maybe i'm just old.

    These past few weeks i've been unable to stay awake all day Saturday. I'm on the go from around 3.00. pm on Fridays, work a Friday night-shift, on Saturday mornings i go do some shopping, then, as i have done today, finally getting home at around lunchtime, i am able to kick off those damned boots and declare weekend. The first thing, well, no, the second thing i do, after switching on and logging in, is pour myself a nice big mug of Cider. Only this Saturday there'll be no Cider.

    ...

    Updated February 20th, 2016 at 05:13 PM by dither

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  18. The little things,

    Like taking a bus-trip out of town to do some shopping. Just seeing others going about their daily lives, living , loving, people just being themselves. There seemed to be so much to do and see. Things i'd done, and do, so often, too common place to mention, the little things i could conjure up a kind of enthusiasm, renewed interest but now,,, i'm just going through the motions. Maybe i'm just tired of winter. A bit of warm sunshine wouldn't go a miss, with time and a willingness to linger and ...
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  19. This damned cold.

    It's exactly a week now since this crap started. Last Sunday morning after a good night's sleep was ended abruptly by an impatient bladder that would not wait any longer. Then having made that short walk to the loo decided that i felt bloody awful and the only sensible place for me to be would be in bed. And so it was, ( how many times has that phrase been used? Corny dither... oh well. ) i crawled back into the pit ( dither speak for bed ) , at around nine a.m. I slept all day and re-awoke at four ...
    Tags: dithering
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  20. Damn you Frank.

    Storm Frank that is. I listened to him it seemed for most of last night, huffing and puffing and i feared for my garden fence, my mother's garden fence, and poor old Larchie next door, i really thought he'd be lying face down in the mud when i looked out this morning but no, he's still standing, he's amazing. Bad boy Frank really is whipping up a storm though. On top of his yowling, rain is due apparently but it hasn't hit here yet.
    I want to go out to the shops for a newspaper and i'm half-heartedly ...
    Tags: life eh?
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  21. Y'all ready for this...?Am I ready for this?

    For no other reason than absolute mind-bending soul-destroying boredom i've found myself putting mental meanderings into words and posting short blog-entries, well? In my silliest moments i've found myself thinking about things around the garden(s) at the back of my house and giving them names. I'm not sure that I'M ready for this even, but it could kill an hour or two on Sunday afternoon.
    You have been warned.


    dither...
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  22. Quiche' chips and mushy peas:

    Beyond the window of my bunker, out there,on a rain sodden Sunday morning.

    Silvery beads cling to a blue plastic coated clothes line. Old Larchie absorbs the moisture of the elements like an old sponge and the concrete posts that have supported him for so long now turned a dirty grey colour. The tin shed and the over-hanging sheets of the roof with their gnarled edges has lost it's red rust colour and have now taken on a deep dark chocolate tone. The absence of a door exposes the ghostly ...
    Tags: bunker daze
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  23. Cutting and caring...

    Just another Sunday dither...

    Taking care of my inheritance...

    My avatar paints a pretty accurate picture having been on the go, non-stop, for around twenty four hours. I eat some, drink some, and ultimately, the house of cards which is my mind body and soul, collapses. It all falls down, or should i say "closes down"? The shutters come down and i crash. And then ,as surely as it must,morning follows night and, i don't know, maybe, well no, i don't drink a ...

    Updated November 29th, 2015 at 05:19 PM by dither

    Tags: dithering...
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  24. From my window;

    The window that is, of my little box-room. I refer to it affectionately as, " the bunker". No not the window, the room f'chris' sakes. I call the room my bunker. Oh dear, bear with me eh. It's Sunday lunchtime and things are a little hazy, but the mist IS clearing.
    Just staying awake all day on a Saturday, having been awake since mid-afternoon and worked a Friday night-shift, outside battling the elements ( fooking cold ones at that) i won't dwell on it but well, it's tiring, ...

    Updated November 22nd, 2015 at 03:24 PM by dither

    Tags: bunker daze
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  25. Abigail's blow-job;

    Storm Abigail that is.

    The Leaf-monsters, that are what remains of next doors' runner bean stalks, with they're green an yellow overcoats, partly sheltered by old Larchie, dance and sway to her tune.
    My chestnut tree with just a few remaining dark brown wizened leaves is all but bare, she seems to be winning that one. And yet, that big old Sycamore at the top of the garden seems to have barely shed a leaf. Although, on closer inspection i can see that the green colour of the leaves ...
    Tags: dithering...
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