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Each n every day

  1. ton of bricks

    lately been struggling with depression....been a while since my last episode and to be honest the longer the gaps inbetween the more severe it seems to hit me...I have my coping mechanism but it often dissipates into a feeling of why can't I beat this enemy within...struggling to do anything just now and the need to cope is fading fast.
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  2. suicide of someone i did not know

    by , January 19th, 2015 at 04:14 PM (Each n every day)
    for a year i have been going to a gym but previous to that was one i went to for many years...my brother showed me a picture of a guy i recognised but never spoke to...i remembered he was always on his mobile and would spend more time walking around the gym than exercising...he hung himself at 28 years of age last week....if you know someone who is depressed...try not to understand their depression but try and be there for them when they are willing to communicate.
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  3. Buskin...Oasis

    For a few weeks a guy has been buskin under a train bridge that i walk under on the way to shops n stuff...he was playing an oasis tune so i through him a quid..had a short conversation about the band and enjoyed the experience...every time i come into view now he always goes into an oasis song which makes me smile.
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  4. Dock road.

    sunny day so i packed me bag and talk a walk into the city centre...it takes about an hour but the journey takes you through hundred of years of history. Plaques dating as far back as 1734 dotted around the place..alot about bombing in the word W11..the buildings are amazing some derelict others converted to swish living spaces. As you walk along you are confronted by big trucks flying past and massive container ships docked..all imitating but very exciting when you think of all the goods coming ...
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  5. Everybody hurts

    Struggling to do anything just now..been hit with a really severe bout of depression and sometimes I feel like just getting away and leaving the mess of my life behind but recent events tell me I can't cope alone and in a strange place anymore. Keep waiting for a better day to arrive but I just can't see it, feel it......as the song goes..every body hurts sometimes..hold on.
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  6. cats dinner.

    mooched around the flat yesterday and decided to go for a walk..coffee in me flask and ham sarney's for dinner..of i went walking straight out the door into docklands and headed into the city centre..all industrial buildings some very old and some new..anyway i noticed a cat down one of the roads that lead of from the main road. Black as soot just sitting in the middle of the road..i walked towards it but when i got close it just kept stairing at me and it never flinched..a big cat as well..I sit ...
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  7. Darkness on sunny days

    man i've hit a bad patch..destroyed 238 pages of type written story about a man who tries to find himself again but realizes that he will never look in the mirror again and see that person..finished it and read it so many times than binned the lot after a bad time..feel even worse now after all that effort..man i hate me sometimes..so stupid...put myself back in the prison of depression and feel the world is against me..i wouldn't wish this crap on me worst enemy.
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  8. old freinds

    in the space of to days i bumped into old friends that have not seen for over ten years..life doe's that hey peeps...first one carl i was looking at books in the oxfam shop and he tapped me on the shoulder..went to school with him and always enjoyed his save the world attitude..next day in the steam room a guy goes is your name ste..at first i didnt recognise him but it was a guy i use to work with some 20 odd years back..never socialised much but we were work buddies...who next..hope it's you!!! ...
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  9. pipe

    bought a pipe the other day..been smoking it while out an about..you don't half get some strange stares..ha....
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  10. weak and tuff

    So many people feel that depression is a weakness and don't understand it..even people that are close to you...I've just moved into one of the roughest parts of the city and with that you have to expect hastle..already I've had a run in with a asbo and when it comes to using violence I will if i have to protect myself..you see it's a state of mind not a physical thing..I lose all sense of fear and just react on instinct..anyway someone said how can you suffer with depression when you can do that...it's ...
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  11. Downsize

    Well moved into a flat that is not a touch on the place I lived before but beggars can't be chooses. from my window I can see the docks and total Industrial blackout and previous was open farm land and hedges with wildlife for company. I have no internet connection because I can't afford it and will have to find local wifi places to get online....you have to keep hoping life will turn for the better but coming from a natural pessamist that's not easy.
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  12. Bag packed

    by , February 19th, 2014 at 08:59 AM (Each n every day)
    well life has away of repeating itself and that's just the way it is...later on today I'm off on my travels and see were I end up...will miss this site for a while until I sort things out....catch you later peeps.
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  13. ship and mitre pub

    by , February 17th, 2014 at 03:53 PM (Each n every day)
    going the pub tonight for a poetry night and I've picked out my poem..Blackbird and Empty Bottle as the poems I will be reading out...I think I'm turning into one of those amateur dramatic types..." How I suffered for my craft...the world will never know my pain and anguish."...thankyou ste you can leave the stage now..ha
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  14. Lone reader reads again.

    by , February 14th, 2014 at 10:13 PM (Each n every day)
    Went out today..felt like walking and see were I end up..weather was crap so I packed my flask and sarny, notebook and a poetry read. I'm sitting in a coffee house an the rains pouring outside so I drink read. Buy a mug of coffee and away I go then remembered the sarny I put in me bag. Eating away a young lad comes up and says.."You can't eat food that's not been bought here." I replied I bought a coffee dude . "Nope not allowed sir!"..I leave and man when you try and get away ...
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  15. home hunting

    by , February 11th, 2014 at 08:37 PM (Each n every day)
    well I had to get out my flat and can't find anywhere that comes close to what I had before....you walk into some places and walk right back out. I'm in temporary accomodation at the moment an it drags you down not having your own space but what can you do. Had a look at a flat today and thought best so far then I get an e-mail that it's no longer available....ah well!
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  16. meal for one

    by , February 6th, 2014 at 09:30 AM (Each n every day)
    jumped a train into the city last night and had a chinese buffet meal..sitting there i felt a bit lonely..it soon passes but while i was thinking that my mobile went and a message of a woman i have been chatting to for a while now, she lives a fair distance away and i've had a long distance relationships before and its to much hassle..anyway her message was i'm off all week next week and would like to finally meet up..sometimes in life you just can't figure what you want and that is frustrating ...
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  17. Egg Cafe Poetry night

    by , February 2nd, 2014 at 10:48 PM (Each n every day)
    I've picked out my poem , Working Class Aristocrat..as the one I will read out tomorrow night!...well get there for seven thirty and put my name down, but if I get the chance I will. It's on the top floor of a three story victorian building and it sells only vegetarian food. I hope my face doesn't go red and my voice squeks to a high pitch before I finish..ha
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  18. chicken or the egg

    by , January 7th, 2014 at 04:54 PM (Each n every day)
    went a poetry night last night at The Egg Cafe last night but chickened out at putting my name down to read a poem out...sat there and listened then opt it.
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  19. four eyes

    by , December 17th, 2013 at 05:22 PM (Each n every day)
    Lately I've been finding it a bit difficult reading with normal lights on....decided to go for an eye test tomorrow and see if the ravishes of time are taking there toll on the old mince pies.........I know now if I have to wear spec's it's going to be lost them on the train, bus or anywhere else I sit.
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  20. Merry Crimbo

    by , December 9th, 2013 at 06:41 PM (Each n every day)
    Got a phone call today of letting agent that my landlord wants to sell the flat and i got my 8 weeks notice...merry christmass to you mate too..just when things are settling down and you think life's not great but hey could be worse...another mountain to climb as this flat was in a nice place and I got it because me brother knew the landlord....oh well.
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  21. Two birds

    by , December 6th, 2013 at 11:31 AM (Each n every day)
    Had one of those out of the blue experiences yesterday while walking to the gym....nearing the bridge that takes you over the canal you get a great view over farmers fields and I watched a Kestrel hover,dip then fly back up and hover before it went in for the kill..amazing..then walking on into residential area a crow catches my attention in the middle of the road...expecting to find a dead cat or food near it as I got closer..nothing until a car came and it took flight..the Kestrel was nature and ...
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  22. New Shoes

    by , December 1st, 2013 at 08:52 PM (Each n every day)
    Was in the city centre yesterday..bought a book and went in the Wok to Noodle and sat facing out eating away..opposite is a Oxfam shop..anyway I get out my pad and write a few lines then went into a pencil scetch...a guy places his mat down crosses his legs and starts playing his flute as his dog lies down beside him...he clocks me watching him and when I leave I walk over and give him my money..never asked him his story or commented on his dog....never got me shoes but felt good about myself giving ...
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  23. Hotel California

    by , November 20th, 2013 at 03:35 PM (Each n every day)
    Well haven't managed to get to Monterey California yet and read Cannery Row..but my brother bought me a ticket to see the Eagles In June next year....close enough..a bit of California heading my way..so pleased..counting down already...135 a ticket..worh every penny dude.
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  24. BadGrandpa

    by , October 27th, 2013 at 10:21 PM (Each n every day)
    My lad watches the Jackass stuff an I find most of it a bit sad but he persuaded me to go see this an it was a hoot from start to finish.
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  25. Tough Mudder

    by , October 6th, 2013 at 04:18 PM (Each n every day)
    Went to cholomendy in wales and completed the tuff mudder course..12 miles of pain,sweat,mud ,water and electric shocks..got me t-shirt and headband after 3 hours of mental torture..so enjoyed.
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