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  1. Kevin's Avatar
    Hey Winston, we have several small towns like that: Brentwwood, Calabasas, and...perhaps notably for the highest percentage of Statusiters, Hidden Hills. Not everyone that lives there, but my god... And even that place has layers.
  2. Winston's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by kaminoshiyo
    I've heard this before, that it's best to raise children away from the city. Guessin there was some truth in it.

    With respect to sas, and other good individuals raised in the city, I wish it was as simple as picking a tree and making a nest.
    A small town is not enough. Vashon Island is 200 yards away from Kitsap County, where I reside. Vashon is a small community, wooded and mostly rural. It is also chock-full of the largest percentage of self-important wankers you'll find. The average "Vashonista" has a higher income and education than folks in my town. They are impatient, rude and condescending. Often to one another, as well.

    The "Nature" did not purge their "Nurture". They are Seattle-minded folks living in the country. And they are too arrogant to give up their caste-based mindset.
    I commuted to Seattle on a ferry that serviced both Vashon and Kitsap. It was never difficult to tell who was going where.
  3. kaminoshiyo's Avatar
    I've heard this before, that it's best to raise children away from the city. Guessin there was some truth in it.
  4. sas's Avatar
    My former husband grew up in an one traffic-light town. Doesn't get much smaller than that. He used to say every vice that was in Detroit could be found in that town, just smaller numbers. Proportions probably the same. It made me laugh. I thought Detroit had the corner on vice.
  5. midnightpoet's Avatar
    Retired to a small town, 1000 pop - on the surface, at least it seems a nice place. However, we have seen it's dark side - drugs, promiscuity, broken homes and families. I've been calling this a little redneck Peyton Place. On the other hand, most of the people seem friendly and helpful.
    Pretty quiet most of the time.
  6. dither's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Plasticweld
    You can't beat small town living. My kids grew up in similar circumstances and they grew up to be fine people. The values and the level of accountability towards your neighbors and friends represent what true community is. It is never hard to spot the city folks, the simple stuff they don't even get or understand.
    Sad but true.
  7. sas's Avatar
    Maybe just old people do this, but since I agree a community has responsibility regarding a child's behavior, I do this when in public around small children. If they are well behaved, I smile, give a little wave. If not, I frown and slightly shake my head. They usually stop. It's subtle, but gives the message that we are all together, watching, and responsible for and to each other.
  8. Kevin's Avatar
    PW, thst must be a good place. Winston, my son was ROTC, too. They were a lot of high achievers in thete and anti-negative stuff, like drugs. It was a mixed atmosphere at the school.

    My nephews are a few years oldet than him and grew up in small town Nebraska. I was surprised to hear that there was a lot of really negative crap going on, same as the big city. So, I guess I don't know.

    We've always been very involved, whereas my parents were not involved so again, I don't know. I always try to talk common sense and point out patterns.

    A for instance was when he was younger we were at the supermarket parking lot on a Sunday and I said "..see that? That's the handoff." It was the custodial handoff that goes on between divorced people every weekend. I didn't know those people but I know of them and that part of our culture.

    We talk about things like drug dealing vs other businesses, and well, all sorts of stuff. Anyway, some kids figure it out on their own, and others get guidance and figure it out on their own. I hope for the second one.

    sas- I saw the saddest video the other day. This mom, her little son, and the grandmother were at a restaurant and her 4-year-old was cussing throwing gang signs and threatening her when she didn't let him have his way. She was totally embarrassed because strangers there were laughing and she was totally caught up in that sad culture. And then there was the little kid.. I mean, what kind of life is that? I didn't share it. I showed my son and my wife and that's it. To me it's the saddest lesson. That kids going to be dead by twenty.

    I guess I may not always know exactly what to do, but at least I know what not to do. I know money helps and more of it helps more- fucking-A - he( my son)just got a notice from blue shield raising his rate 92%. He pays his own way and he's 20, and wtf is that, 92% increase ?! So my wife and he went online to try to find a fix for that bullshit. We may not always know what to do but at at least I can show him the things not to do ( as others play it out) I hope that is enough for him.

    Sorry for grandstanding or whatever, Winston but I thought you all might get it.
  9. Winston's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by sas
    I grew up in Detroit. Turned out fine. Look to the parents, not the place.
    I totally get what you're saying, and agree. Hence, the blog title.
    We good folks find one another.
    There are some neighborhoods in Seattle I would have considered living in. But folks like me are driven away. A sort of cultural dysphoria . That's how we end up were we do.
  10. Plasticweld's Avatar
    Sas, you say that, but my neighbors and friends looked after my kids when I wasn't there. No deed goes un-noticed in a small town, both good or bad.

    The "I'll tell your father," goes a long ways in the eyes of a teenager who is spreading their wings. I agree with you about parents, but the place really does play a part in how you view things when growing up.
  11. sas's Avatar
    I grew up in Detroit. Turned out fine. Look to the parents, not the place.
  12. PiP's Avatar
    Winston, sounds like you made the right choice for your children. A simpler lifestyle is better for kids... and of course the adults.
  13. Plasticweld's Avatar
    You can't beat small town living. My kids grew up in similar circumstances and they grew up to be fine people. The values and the level of accountability towards your neighbors and friends represent what true community is. It is never hard to spot the city folks, the simple stuff they don't even get or understand.
  14. sas's Avatar
    As someone who cared for the extreme elderly (both my parents into their 90s), I thought I'd share what I saw one family do when their father was in a nursing home. They put, next to his bedside, an 8 x 10 photo of their dad in his WW II military uniform. The elderly are too often ignored, as if they never were. Damn pity. This was an excellent way to remind others.
  15. Kevin's Avatar
    Thank you for bumping this, sas. You're right: it's really good. Thank you Winston.

    I think some good things often get missed.

    Funny how music is such a part of our generation. Some might say we're living in a movie but it's a grim reality then, not a show.

    I remember my grandmother went into the home. It was more a hospital. This guy who had been her husband's best friend,(he'd wanted to marry her many years after he'd died) was there and he was blind. She'd lost her mind by then ( why she went in) but she started crying when she saw him. He couldn't see her. He'd been a physical brute of a man, not brutal, but strong, and there he was close to a hundred having to put up with care by others.
  16. sas's Avatar
    I gotta comment that I'm shocked this extraordinarily well written story hasn't generated more comments, or deserved applause. It certainly resonated with me. So, I'm applauding again.
  17. sas's Avatar
    Sorry to swear, but that was a damn fine write!
  18. dither's Avatar
    Nice thoughts there Winston.

    And that last four-liner may well be the reality of where we're headed.
  19. Kevin's Avatar
    We never camped as kids. One time we did Leo Carillo which is a group of campsites off a paved road near Malibu. My mom had like ten, wood, portable cabinet/crate thingies filled with way too much food, and we slept in a green army canvas tent the size of a house. It was heavy and had an old, odd, odor like it was from back in Korea or maybe the Battle of the Bulge. No wonder my dad didn't like camping.
  20. sas's Avatar
    Brought back my fondest memories. We tented, in National Forest Preserves, in States and Canada, and drove 20 miles into forest on old logging trails, too. Remote areas, as I hate company when in wilderness. Especially those RV types. Hate those bathrooms or porta potties, in campgrounds. We would dig a hole, for that business, and had a semi-seatless chair (invented..ha)to put over, used lime afterward.

    For the record, in the 60s, I still put on my false eyelashes each day. LOL.

    Thanks for sharing. Sas
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