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  1. lowprofile300's Avatar
    It is still going to shallow you whole. Correction: It is still going to swallow you whole.
  2. lowprofile300's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Domi001
    "He threw the documents he was holding into the pool; as I watched them soak, I heard the hum of the motor inside the crane and the god awful shriek of steel on the pulley as my head inched closer to the surface of what was to be my last memory; so I thought."

    that is one looooooooooong sentence, break it up a little with periods. A few of your sentences are quite long...

    Thanks for the tip. I will consider doing just that.
  3. Domi001's Avatar
    "He threw the documents he was holding into the pool; as I watched them soak, I heard the hum of the motor inside the crane and the god awful shriek of steel on the pulley as my head inched closer to the surface of what was to be my last memory; so I thought."

    that is one looooooooooong sentence, break it up a little with periods. A few of your sentences are quite long...
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