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  1. Elvis was Right

    I had wanted to be the wolf;
    elusive, wily and mysterious;
    with an edge of danger about meó
    howling at midnight moons.

    But Iíve come to accept my true nature;
    jealous, suspicious and tenacious;
    with a nose for sniffing out verminó
    prone to sounding off
    and always on the trail.
  2. Man on a Stick

    A Limerick, inspired by SoNickSays' avatar:

    For a snack, Satan nibbled on Judas
    then ate Cassius, followed by Brutus
    he had ordered to go
    from Dante's Inferno
    while on holiday in the Bermudas

    Updated August 4th, 2010 at 02:34 AM by Gumby

  3. Never brush your teeth with Icy Hot

    Distractions, even in your own home, come at a price. My mind was so busy with thoughts of things that I needed to do today. I was actually carrying on a conversation in my head, while I reached for the tube of toothpaste. I had it on the brush and in my mouth before I realized something wasn't right here. Looking closer at the tube I had just set down, I saw it was Icy Hot.
    Wow! This stuff really works! My mouth was certainly icy and hot. Thankfully, I had only brushed the left side of ...
  4. Driver's Ed 101

    She was well into her fifties,
    when daddy ran her down
    on the road to enlightenment.
    Eighteen wheels of ignorance
    never leaves a pretty roadkill.

    There had been signs along the way
    of course, but they were hidden
    by the forest of family trees.

    Sounds of daddy, raging at the televison
    as Dr. King marched into history,
    blended with the aroma
    of mama's fried chicken in the kitchen.

    Every Sunday, the ...

    Updated November 18th, 2011 at 10:03 PM by Gumby

  5. A Good Fight's Just Like an Air Freshener

    So we argued.
    And you were transported
    on high,
    by a cloud
    of seething testosterone.

    The Lord and Master days
    are gone.
    So climb down
    from your throne-
    it's a much shorter trip
    than you think.

    I promise you,
    the sight of your ex- servant
    on her knees
    before you,
    will be much better
    from down here.

    Updated May 21st, 2010 at 05:01 AM by Gumby

  6. Make the Connection Mr. Obvious

    Make the Connection Mr. Obvious

    Have you talked to her lately?
    You know,
    that lady who birthed your children?
    The one who sits beside you
    when you're driving around town
    paying bills, and banking.

    You probably thought
    it was just the speaker rattling
    in your car-
    that annoying, scratchy sound,
    the one you just tune out
    and think,
    “I'll have to fix that someday.” ...

    Updated May 9th, 2010 at 04:54 AM by Gumby

  7. Pine Tree Lucidity

    For my dad, who just turned 83. Happy Birthday Dad!

    Pine Tree Lucidity

    Dad says his favorite dream place
    is beneath his old pine tree.
    While leaning back against the bark,
    he hears wind symphonies.

    I watch him from the window-
    his eyes closed, his face serene.
    His life-worn shoulders rounded,
    rough hands resting near his knees.

    There's a secret in his stillness,
    a something, I can't see; ...

    Updated April 4th, 2018 at 11:26 PM by Gumby

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