We both emailed each other over and over again, laying down the dreams and fantasies of our genders, with an obvious main focus on true love with an HEA ending. I was really frightened of love scenes, and turned fifty shades of pink during this process. My knees went limp thinking about what my female agent would say about this after she read it. I thought that I might be seen as a dirty, filthy pig.
I'll admit that we both got rather worked up over this topic for months, and this fevered pitch really added to the excitement and discovery in the story-line.
Hell, I think erotica is 75% foreplay before anything happens, and there is a way to write a sexy narrative tease so that you have your reader panting and white-knuckling their fists—aching and anticipating some kind of volcanic release (which they know is there but can’t see), until it starts to tear them apart. If they end up cussing and ripping pages, you’ve done your job.
Speaking from a male perspective, I knew that I was going to need more than a little help--a straight leg-up opinion and advice from the female side. And THAT was a huge, huge highway to discovery for me—oh, did I ever learn a ton about the female mindset—feelings of intimacy and passion. Although my book is not a straight erotica, it is rated four out of five flames.
Just saying, I got lucky, went to bat and got a good hit. I’ll find out if it is out of the park when it finally comes out. My two cents:
Partner up, if you’d like
Research—read these books
Don’t be afraid
Experiment and have a blast.