I find myself waking up Tuesdays through Thursdays, putting on one of my button-up shirts, and commuting with the droves of people who do this every day of their lives. I thank whatever god may exist -- I don't discriminate -- that I only do Tuesdays through Thursdays. I doubt I could make it to the end of the summer if I worked any more days.
I didn't actually get this internship through my own interest (as would be expected I would think), rather my parents gave me the contacts and everything and told me to go. They seem to have more of a road map to where my life should go than I do.
So I've found that I hate this work so much that I find I spend more of my time here opening secret tabs to write a short story or check the forums or take a weird survey that tells me I'm in the 99th percentile of depressive symptoms (that got me a nice warning from the computer telling me to seek professional help and a hearty laugh out of me). Basically, I do work here, but it's work for myself. I don't work for them. They don't give me a reason to feel I should.
What I want to ask from this post to anyone who reads it is this: am I doing something wrong? I feel as if this I shouldn't be here, but then I feel the pressing need to stay in order to get this coveted idea of experience that everyone tells me I need. But the experience I'm getting here is not only wearing on me, it has nothing to do with where I want to see myself -- though where I see myself is rather murky still.
Either way, I'll keep writing everyday (I have an email titled "Letter of Recommendation" where I just write my thoughts about the day and avoid my other work) and hope that maybe this will help me grow in a way much more meaningful to me than what it is now.