Okay, so there I was, in my dream-state, totally awake, seemingly, in a world of grey. No worldly features, houses fields streets, no horizon, no ground, no sky, nothing. There was no sense of the physical, just a mental existence, seeing but not feeling.
Something in my head was telling me to find a word, Find a word---find a word-find a word---find a word---find a word, commanding demanding and all I could think of was what word? Why?
Now in recent times I sometimes find myself searching for a word, a word that I know so well, to describe something, a place, situation, person, feeling, it's on the tip of my tongue but I just can't, we've been there, haven't we. Please say you have. whatever. Maybe that was what this was about, whatever.
Then, back to my dream, I was confronted by tall man dressed like an American dandy from way-back like he might have just stepped off one of those old Mississippi steamboats. Why American? Why Mississippi? And Why steamboat? I don't why but that is what my mind was telling me.
He was trying to press something into the palm of my hand, I could see this small round shiny gold coloured object, flat and round, could have been a coin, jewelry-item, and then I panicked. A conman, a thief, my head was telling me that he was intending extract money from me? "I haven't got any money" I told him repeatedly and turned to flee.
Now that's weird, have only just remembered this as I type. Why a conman? Why the fear of this man trying to take money from me? Quite some time ago now, might have been last year even, as I was walking back home from my local Aldi store one morning a car pulled up beside me and asked for directions. He tried to persuade me to take what looked like a brand new wrist-watch still in it's cardboard case, I refused. He insisted, I refused. And then he told me he needed money to buy petrol. " I have't got any money, look! I'm a pensioner, I have money for my food, that's all." I told him feeling angry as hell as I strode back up the hill into town, I was seething.
But in my dream, I don't know how I felt about this dandy-itinerant-chancer. As I turned away from the man in my dream he turned away also and vanished into thin air. It was as though he'd been standing in front of a grey curtain and had walked straight through it. There no swirls of mist, no fog, he was there and then he wasn't. Puff! Gone.
I could see a dog up ahead of me a short distance away, a lead attached to his neck, instead of the lead dropping to the floor, I could see it rising up from his neck as if there was somebody holding onto it but there was no-one there. Then, as I got closer to the dog, I couldn't believe my eyes, an orange brindle. Was there ever such a thing? But that is what my mind was telling me. Shaped like a greyhound and not very tall, definitely not a whippet, his name was smokey.
[ Many years ago my grandparents had a dog named smokey but he was a Dachshund. ]
He was a brindle and the main color of his coat was okay not orange exactly. Light tan with an orange hue perhaps. Had he been left there? My impression of him was not that of a starved and/or bedraggled stray.
I found myself kneeling beside smokey and I was holding him to my chest, he raised his nose upward as I stroked his neck and throat, he seemed glad to see me, like a master returning. And then panic, again, " no, no, no, I can't do this, I can't have such a responsibility." I remember leaving him standing there zzzzzzzzzzz ..................
And then I woke up.