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Train Etiquette

Just like any structured thing in life, there is etiquette. Etiquette for fancy dinners. Etiquette for wedding invitations. Etiquette for attending yoga classes. So it should come as no surprise to people that there would be such a thing as train etiquette. Train etiquette consists of (but not limited to) the following rules:

1. No loud phone conversations. In fact, please put the phone on vibrate. I don't need "I feel like making love" stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

2. If there is an entire row open in front of me, then please take one of those seats. You do not sit next to someone if there are open seats.

3. If the train is full and you plan on napping, then take a window seat, not the aisle. I flick you in the nose to wake you up.

4. If you are going to bring beer on the train for the ride home, bring enough to share. Especially if you are having a conversation with your friends who are sitting all around me.

In my eyes, this is train etiquette. Please obey. Much obliged.


I commute on a ferry to Seattle. I concur for the most part, but would add:

5. If you have Free Range Children, please temporarily restrain them.

6. When planning a loud, boisterous conversation, please do not sit in the corner with people that are quietly reading or resting. I can fart VX nerve agent at will.

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