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The straw that broke this Camel's back;

Smith's blog has prompted this. Sorry Smith. Who know's maybe somebody somewhere ​might see it as drifts off into the great unknown.

I've been carrying too much for too long and this broken arm business, and it's no big deal , although i AM worried right now, has brought me to the brink. I need to talk to a doctor or somebody, but how much can patient and doctor say in the allotted ten minute time-slot? I could use an hour.

A doctor might be willing to refer me and maybe i really do just need a good kick up the backside. How i'm feeling right now, i don't know how to deal with this but one thing i DO , it can't go on. Something's got to give. If i get through this, Things are going to change, they have to.

I feel like some injured animal, i just want to crawl into a hole and stay there.




Note to management:
Please don't delete this, it will soon be on it's way.

And the members, please, just let it go eh?

Updates:

I'm trying to break down barriers. Today i actually asked my GP who do you talk to about depression here? THERE! I said it. Depression. Depression depression depression. Here being the surgery of course. I also told him some other time maybe. But look! i said that dreaded word. To a GP. My GP. That was a huge step for me. And the real tragedy is, he didn't seem to give a shit. Or maybe he didn't know what to say. Whatever. He mumbled a few words. I haven't a clue what he said. I thanked him and left.

ALSO,
one thing i didn't know;
You can go to any A&E in England, ask to see the resident Psychiatrist and request a free assessment. I hadn't thought of that, didn't know they existed. Well there you go.

Physiotherapy begins on Friday.

The big question is do i dare to mention my concerns about Autism to my GP the next time i see him ? It just seems so unreal and yet, mmmm.
I wonder if he took note of my mentioning depression. I really don't know if i can do this but the situation is becoming critical.

Saw a GP today. Back to work out of the question. To be reviewed by physio in two weeks.Jeez!

31/08/16
I'm worried.
The people at the hospital and the physio seemed mostly concerned with my elbow and the possibility that i might not being able to fully straighten my arm, and that's scary. Okay, it feels a bit creaky but i feel as though i'm getting there.
I'm worried about the top of my arm and my wrist. I've been doing the exercises for about 12 days now and i have another 12 to go before i see the physiotherapist again. Afraid that i might need surgery ( don't know how i'm going to deal with that ) and hoping like hell here. I'm scared.

I want to ask a GP about depression i do but i just can't being called a time-waster.
Can't do it.

Finally back to work and hoping it's all over now.

Two weeks back at work, my arm still niggles and my depression deepens. I don't want to live like this but i'm not sure that i could face or even that i want the dark clouds to go away. How weird is that?

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dither
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