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The long road lies before me.

Four long boring years ago, I did what I dreamed I would do. I wrote the crappiest and most unreadable piece of puke on paper, and I called it my masterpiece. I wrote a novel. I didn't know that westerns didn't sell, and I didn't give a damn because I'd written a novel. I self-published and lost money on it because I assumed that "write it and they will read" applied. It doesn't, it didn't, and now I know better.

Yesterday, I was sitting here watching some mind-numbing pablum on TV (boy, that narrows it down a lot) and I saw something that gave me an idea. I'd secured myself that I'd never write another novel. Too much work, too long, too many critics, and never a dime to earn. Just not doing it. I'd rather screw around with making fart noises with my armpits that suffer that thankless work again. I can't spare $200 or more on writing a novel. Never writing another. Novels are for the dedicated, and I'm a horrid hack.

Now, as I type this, I've covered new ground. I'm not a pantser. Why? Because pantsers plan too much. Yeah, I said it. I'm a "teether". I write by the skin of my teeth, and as ideas hit me, I write them in the piece. This time, the idea is too good to leave to a shoddy memory. I've put together a little plan that answers the big questions, but leaves me plenty of room to write my story without being handcuffed by a plot.

I'm a piddling 548 words into my novel. Yeah, the thing I said I'd never write again, a novel. I'm putting my head back into the lion's mouth. I know so damn little about publishing that I honestly don't know how much it'll cost to have it put out through a trade publisher. By the time I've finished the manuscript, I'll likely find that most agents are "pay-to-read", and I'll have to drop a couple hundred just to get it on one desk. Then, with his "incidental costs" adding another grand I'll likely have to spend more than it'd ever earn to put it in print.

It's a thriller. By the time I get it done, the thriller genre will be as dead as the western genre. I'm going to spend money I don't have to get it published, but I'm doing it. Why? Excellent question. I'm stupid. That's the big one. I'm just dumber than a bag of rotten cucumbers. Beyond that, I have confidence in the idea because it is good. If this book can be written as I see the story in my head, I'd spend money to get a copy. For a cheapskate like I am, that's high praise. It's good, and I think I can write it.

I'll probably lose my friggin' shirt trying to get it published, it'll make my measly $220 loss on my self-pubbed book look like child's play, but I'm doing it. With that in mind, I think that may be a sign that calling myself dumber than a bag of rotten cucumbers may be drastically overestimating my intelligence.

You know, being creative and unable to disengage the creative gear, it's a real pain sometimes. I know 548 is a really low count, but it's a start. I'm hoping that, by committing publicly to write this damn thing I may actually do it. My main flaw is that I start many things that go unfinished. This idea is worthy of continued effort.

Wish me luck, because I fear I'll need all I can get.


I am just now seriously starting work on my novel. It's slow progress, mainly because I'm my own worst enemy, and also lazy. But I'm trying to get better about that, and it's coming along.

If you ever want to somebody to share your writing with, hit me up. Best of luck, and remember that any writing is probably better than nothing.
I'm still avoiding going back to my different novels. I have three or four ideas with bits and bobs written but for the life of me I can't decide which to start with. I'm also working on that whole self-confidence in my writing thing.

You should look into self-publishing again. E-readers are becoming more and more popular and it might be a great way for you to get your work out there, maybe even get picked up by a publishing company or an agent. I know you said it flopped before, but you gotta get back on the horse again, yea?

Yeah, it could be just as much money if not more, but who knows what could happen

Rooting for ya!! :D
Smith: I appreciate your offer of beta reading. I might take you up on that in the future.

Hammy: I understand that self-pubbing is a great tool, but to be brutally honest I want to be able to say "Oh, I am a published author. Somebody said my stuff isn't junk. Thanks for asking." At the same time there is a major advantage: Suppose I shot it around and it doesn't go anywhere in three or four years of diligent effort. I can always then self-publish it. :)
Hey, that least you know what you want! That's more than I can say. If you want to be able to say that, then strive for it. Goals are motivation. Whatever will benefit your writing and encourage you in this process,that's what you should do.

This self publishing backup plan sounds like a good plan B then lol
being creative and sometimes being destructive can be very good bed fellows..so stay focused dude

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