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The height of our darn doors. {Gross story warning}

There are moments in my life where I question my sanity. I joke about it, I do, but often, I wonder if I really am off-kilter.

I was about to step outside, and our back porch doors open inward, like most. I carelessly set down my left foot directly in it's path, and swung it open.

Well, surprise surprise, it jammed my left big toe.

Normally it wouldn't be a problem. Just a few minutes of pain. I ignored it at first, but, looking closer, the nail had been pushed upward, completely torn from the skin beneath. It would have most definitely fallen out. Now, I have received many accidental wounds in the past. All kinds of cuts, scrapes, bruises. They never bothered me, nor the sight of blood.

But one thing bothers me. Any skin cut away dies and falls off, eventually. It gets in the way of bandages, keeping me from protecting the wound and stemming the flow of blood, and moves uncomfortably whenever the bandage shifts. I absolutely do not like it.

The nail had to go. I wasn't going to bandage up my toe and simply wait for it to dislodge itself. Am I the only one who would think that way?

The pain from the injury, and the thought, seemed to have an adrenal response. My hands were shaking.

I ran cold water over it to shrink the blood vessels, dried it off, and gave it a tug. And another. And another.

Oddly enough, even after my decision to commit to this task, I was now apprehensive. But I thought, it didn't hurt that much when the door shoved it in another centimeter. How much could it hurt coming out?

It's like taking off an adhesive bandage, I told myself.

My hands wouldn't do, though.

I walked to the large room down the hall, where my father has his arcade machines that he works on, and the tools he uses. My eyes fell on his pliers. That would do it. Back to the sink, foot on the counter, pliers clamped on the nail, I steeled my arms to put whatever force needed to remove it.

The left side, apparently, was weaker. It slid out at an angle as I pulled. It was more firmly anchored on the right side.

I wiggled the pliers closer to the side, clamped down sharply, and pulled. The nail crunched under the force, the skin pulled, and snapped audibly in a small little sound.

It didn't hurt nearly as bad as a bandage, despite the sounds.

Although, I discovered, from moving houses, I did not actually have any bandages. It's also 4:00 AM. I can't ask the folks for bandages, they're sleeping. 'Twould be rude. I did have tissues, though. I sat down and waited for it to stop bleeding.

Have you ever lost a fair amount of skin? Got a deep cut? We're so used to most of our nerve feedback coming from the skin... when we feel something deeper, it's as if both the nerves and our brain don't know how to react.

I stepped outside once more and discovered this. The patch of skin underneath my nail did not take kindly to the breeze. Not at all. The dull pain remaining, and the thought of the situation, still had me shaking somewhat and unable to relax.

And so, here I am, wondering if I'm the only one who would straight pull out the nail from a severely stubbed toe just to avoid dealing with it.

Does that make me crazy? I don't know.

Comments

Been there, done that. I managed to buckle the nail on my left hand middle finger over the summer. Whacked it with a stupid hammer. I too tried to make it cooperate with pinch pressure but no dice. I resorted to needle-nose pliers and a quick tug. Mine hurt like crazy though, lol.

So, if you pulling a toenail that needed to go makes you crazy... my fingernail would have probably fallen off, and I could have bandaged my finger with it still in place until it did. Yours would have made shoes unbearably uncomfortable and socks a torture device. Yours was a required act. Mine was... marginally optional. You're okay. ;)
 
I know a couple of girls who shaved off their eyebrows to make them grow in fuller. They never grew back.
Another guy had this 'thing' on his foot by his toe, something small and dark and I forget why (maybe it hurt or something) but he yanked it out with pliers. After that he couldn't walk for a while, he was in so much pain. Whatever it was, that 'thing' wriggled on its own after being pulled. He thinks it was a nerve, one of his own nerves. Point is I'm not a doctor, so yanking and cutting may not be the wisest choice; I say 'may' because I don't really know. Just be careful, don't mess yourself up, despite any 'crazies' or whatever.
 
So Kev, you're advocating against self-surgery???

Strange folks, that's all I gotta say. Strange folks...
 
No, you're most definitely crazy. No need to ponder on it any longer. Great story though - hope you can use it to get yourself some high-quality ass.
 

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Crowley K. Jarvis
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