Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

The cocktail of despair

The cocktail of despair [ADULT SWEARING ADVISION]

The Cocktail of Despair.
Trouble brewed in our airs.
  • Chastisement of wife for her securement of obese Christmas tree.
  • Supermarket pizza.

‘Firstly You buy a fat Christmas tree, and then, woman, expect me to dine upon Sainsbury’s staff spread pizza? Do you want me to die?’ I said not unreasonably after my six day endurance of night shifting at the psychiatric pole.
Regular readers will know of my employment [titty waitress, pole entertainer, psychiatric Ward B, Scarborough]

‘Please don’t fuss husband, my lovely, tonight is not for pizza, tonight is for wine; we celebrate your brave six night shift survival.’

‘My god Honey, I am so brave,’ I said.

‘Yes, you need to decompress, recover your senses.’

‘Yes, I am driven completely insane, lover, by night shift. You know I watched Schwarzenegger’s Commando in downtime. I cried endlessly two hours.’

‘You must re-adjust.’

‘I must make love endlessly, love. Love. Love?’


‘Also babe, bad news. You know that mental health nursing degree I fancied?’


‘Rejection. The fucking bitch administrator wanted biology. Biology A level to study fucking medicine? What kind of fuckwit!’

‘Fuck them.’

‘I told her “fuck off. Do you know I’ve had three short stories published on-line, stick that up your biology A level.” I believe one short story published on-line is pretty much a degree, heh?’

‘You’re so right.’

‘Thank you.’


I can’t say decompression has not been arduous. And what with that minor rejection from life and future [I hate nurses] I was able at least to re-launch this blog for my zero readership.

Also, and to my credit, I was appointed by the high lords of forum, as a judge in the Christmas writing competition.

Although seeing I was a judge nobody entered the contest this year.

I seized opportunity and whizzed off a fantastic 650 slice of life writing, bubbling snot at the keyboard over my tenderness and elegance. I entered straight away so I’ll win and there’s nothing anybody can do about my victory.

Although, looking back, it is rather a dense piece, fathomable only by me really, and if you are me. Also it’s about cats again, and a service user. A service user when fictionalised receiving the pseudonym of Roland. And I feel that/this is rather sloppy writing? [rising inflection]…not all mental health patients are called Roland. So, my question, what is the correct pseudonym for individuals suffering the mental health condition? Your choice: aspergers, personality disorder, creative writer, schizophrenia, take your pick.


There are no comments to display.

Blog entry information

Last update

More entries in Creative Writing 101