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The Apple of My E.Y.E. 2

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
-V from “V for Vendetta”
When global warming increased after the last forest had been cut down, forcing the people on the surface to go underground and build a unicultural, revolutionary city, close to the core in 2020 for 120 years; although living in fear of returning to the surface. The year is 2140 A.D. however; Erich changed it to the new calendar, 120 E.C. or Earth Core. Erich Depeche, 24-year-old literature student attending the Washington-Lincoln Memorial College, became Emperor after his father died. Erich started a task force program called E.Y.E. or Erich’s Youth Effigy 5 years ago. The E.Y.E. began to take over the Police Task force a year ago, causing the crime rate go up 80% in the last 6 months. There had been rumors of families whose resurgence of the surface resulted in their disappearing out of the city as soon as the E.Y.E. would abduct them from their homes. Emperor Erich and E.Y.E. had been hearing rumors of the existence of the National Humanitarian Effigy, a rebel association, have been taking out confident E.Y.E. members who were part of the surveillance and abductions of these families.
There, in the massive crowd of young people, dressed in violet tunics with red apple shaped badges with the letters E.Y.E. stitched into them, looking at the stage that Emperor Erich Depeche would, at any minute, walk onto. A woman walking at the edge of the platform of the Transit Train Station, a light rail mall near the Capital, located in the Lincoln District, wearing a lavender violet tunic and a pair of sunglasses. “Erasure, are you there at the platform near the light railing tracks?” whispered a male voice in her ear. “Yes, I am, Aiden. Are you beside my cousin?” growled Erasure, losing her train of thought.
There at the stage standing Aiden, tall, muscular in his violet colored suit, smiling while overlooking the crowd. “You should see me on the stage, woman. You still want to be working for the Emperor or otherwise we wouldn’t be doing this mission,” said Aiden in a teasing tone. “Are you trying to get us both killed if one of the kids overhears us over their transmissions?” hissed Erasure, looking at the stage as she signals Aiden. One side of the train station were signs of The E.Y.E. and their motto, Erich protects and We must defend flashing under the apple on violet background with pictures of some teens hailing Erich on either side of the flashing billboards.
Then a young man in a red-violet suit comes upon the stage as the crowd hails him, chanting, “Emperor Erich Depeche.” Aiden nodded at Erasure as she vanished in the crowd. The young man then lifts his hand as the crowd becomes quiet. “Today, we’re here to ensure our way of life. We have survived another year near our Earth’s core and today marks 120 years since we left the surface of destruction. My motto: ‘We must survive the Earth’s Core if we are to keep our earth. We live here now and shall not leave this place that has become our home. “
As Erich was talking, Erasure walked into a security room with guards and shot them as she gently swung her duffle bag in front of her. She then began setting up as she carefully heard her cousin’s speech as the crowd began roaring in approbation. “Allow the N.H.E. to try to divide us. We will survive!” shouted Erich, as his E.Y.E. peers applaud enthusiastically. As soon he was finished, a gunshot echoed as blood sprang from his chest. The crowd was gripped by panic, only to find that his killers, Aiden and Erasure, quickly disappeared. The People of Under-City proceeded to flood the streets of the news that the Emperor was dead.


Hi there. Just letting you know that if you want this to count as an entry for the LM competition, it must be posted in the LM thread itself, or posted in the specific Writer's Workshop thread and linked in the LM thread.


I've made a correction in the forum. unless you want me to post the entirety of the story on the LM competition. I have no problem of that.
Hmm. It's pretty narrative in some places. Maybe you could try showing it a little more through the character's point of view? Also, a couple of issues with grammar in one or two places. Interesting idea though, and it looks like you've put quite a lot of thought into backstory.

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