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suicide of someone i did not know

for a year i have been going to a gym but previous to that was one i went to for many years...my brother showed me a picture of a guy i recognised but never spoke to...i remembered he was always on his mobile and would spend more time walking around the gym than exercising...he hung himself at 28 years of age last week....if you know someone who is depressed...try not to understand their depression but try and be there for them when they are willing to communicate.

Comments

Words fail, Esc. I tried to think of something inspirational to say but came up dry. The best we can do as humans is to make sure that we make ourselves available, and at times prod a little to get the problems started pouring out. Most tend to hold the opinion that nobody would care, but that's classic depression at work.

I think we tend to underestimate the power of a few kind words, just showing a little interest in someone. True, it may not make a difference, but who knows? A few kind words versus the next fifty years of a life? It's not a very compelling argument for inaction.
 
Escorial--I know the pain of which you speak, my family struggles almost every day to keep my wonderful brother form killing himself...I fear suicide is becoming an epidemic. Our young people feel so disconnected. I am so sorry for the young man you speak of. Peace my friend...Julia
 
E, my brother took his life. I appreciate your blog post. If I had one wish, seriously, it would be to turn back the clock to the week prior.
 
It's better to teach them how to solve their own problems, rather than try to fix it yourself and have them learn nothing. Show them their worth, and how to believe in themselves. That can be done with just a few kind, compassionate words.

At least, that's what I discovered from my own bouts with depression. Thanks for the words of wisdom escorial.
 
Smith...words are all and yet nothing...yes dude never underestimate the power of a few words man..nice one
 
Escorial,
very few people see it.
It takes one to know sometimes, and people who are depressed don't exactly announce their situation to others.
It's difficult.
 
yes dither the mind...so many think they know what someone is thinking but in reality..no one can
 
I had what I would have considered 20 years ago my best friend, kill himself two weeks ago. We had known each other for 40 years. The man he was when we first met, no longer existed. We lived in the same town, we were once business partners. The things he claimed to hold in high esteem he managed over the years to drag through the mud. I once held him in high regard, in later years I would not even talk to him. He was a brilliant guy, well spoken, a charmer and from a highly respected family here. When I heard he shot himself, it was during a police stand off, I could only feel disappointment, so much potential and all thrown away.


I did not go to the funeral, I couldn't bear to see the friends and the people he associated with in the later days of his life. I had lost respect for him, because he had lost it for himself. I doubt that there was any magic thing I could have done to save him from himself. His actions over the years where in one form or another always self-destructive.


I wish I could have grieved for him, but honestly felt nothing when I heard the news, I was sad that the friend I used to know had long disappeared and had been replaced by someone I no longer knew.

The purpose of my rant is that when someone is self-destructive it is a long process, it seldom happens over night. If someone knows the cure for someone who does not respect themselves or their values please pass it on. It is one of the few areas I feel helpless in and seem to have never been truly able to make much difference. I dealt with it numerous time over the yea,rs in the roll of faith based councilor and I am no closer today to finding the key figuring out depression and it's destruction.
 
a rant filled with meaning man...the truth is the journey we take is unique to us alone..and try as we might to understand we can only understand what affected it had on ourselves...we can predict how someone will act but predicting what they think is a completer mystery to us all...he lived he died he affected your future..cheers man
 
PW,
There IS no cure for self-destructive urges/feelings/emotions, whatever, call it what you will, they can never truly be banished. All the conselling and drugs do imo, is paper over the cracks. The c&d are a crutch to lean on, that's all. Worth the effort? Well, best not go there eh?
 

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escorial
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